Spontaneous Ramblings on Soul Alchemy
by a southern lawyer who became a mystic
by a southern lawyer who became a mystic
This third in a trilogy of free little books (see links at very end) presents slices of many interesting places Jesus, Archangel Michael and Melchizedek took and often dragged me kicking and screaming. Along the way, I met a whole lot of people,
who had stepped onto the spiritual path having no clue what
might lie in store. Some appeared to be in serious trouble, but
did not realize it. Others were intrigued by my reports of supernatural
experiences. Most, however, were not interested, and some thought I was crazy,
or worse, or used mind-altering drugs, which I didn’t do back then, nor since.
Judeo-Christianity Starting Point
Star Date: September 7, 2019
My birthday, until I
left grammar school.
Back then, a kid in
his/her 6th year had to be born before October to enter public
school 1st grade in Alabama. My mother got her delivering physician
to make a second birth certificate, to show I was born September 7. She told me
about it after there was nothing the school district could do about it.
However, I already had learned of it from her mother, after I saw “Bash,
10-7-42” on her charm bracelet. My grandmother swore me to secrecy. I didn’t
tell my mother until she told me how old I really was.
My mother’s parents
were Southern Baptist. My father’s parents, too. My mother detested the Baptist
Church, and eventually she left it, to follow a young Episcopal minister. She
took me and my younger brother and sister with her. The uproar in the family
was awful. To prove she had done the right thing, my mother forced me through
Confirmation. When the Episcopal bishop gave me the communion wine during the
Confirmation service, it went down my throat wrong. I thought I was choking to
death. I gutted it out, returned to my seat, said nothing. Perhaps a prediction
of my ending up not being a church man. But then, as I told a North Georgia
country lawyer friend in 2001, “When am I ever not in church?”
Yesterday, the former
Roman Catholic self-styled mystic, spiritual teacher and healer Caroline Myss
came into my thoughts, again. So, I went online and read what Wikipedia said
about her, and some articles. One article and its reader comments were hugely
critical of Myss’ harsh and egotistical treatment of people. I never had
dealings with Myss, although I think I recall writing to her once, at an address
provided, and nothing came back.
I learned of Myss from
a California friend in 1998, when I was in what I later would dub, “the black
night of the soul.” It had descended a couple of years after I emerged from a
4-year dark night of the soul, which had descended in early 1991, shortly after
I was told in my sleep, “With respect to St. John of the Cross, you haven’t
seen anything yet.” I then was engulfed in raw, black EVIL, which put me in
terror and gagging and desperately trying to escape, which mood continued after
I woke from the dream. I also awoke with an inflated ego, thinking I would
prove John of the Cross had not seen anything yet.
The year prior, a
licensed clinical social worker friend, who was somewhat familiar with my reports
of having lots of not-of-this-word experiences, asked if I’d ever heard of John
of the Cross? I said, No. He said I should read up on that Roman Catholic
saint. I then found ST. JOHN OF THE CROSS, Alchemist of the Soul,
by Antonio T. De Nicholas, in the Boulder Bookstore on Pearl Street Mall, and
read it.
The book included Juan
de la Cruz’s commentaries, in which he described two dark nights. One was
awful, the cleansing of the soul, Juan called it, but it was doable by most
people, who emerged permanently altered. For some dark night survivors, that
was the end of it. For others, the second dark night, the cleansing of the
spirit, eventually came. It was far worse and few survived it. After living
through it, Juan was fused with God, and when he died, his body did not rot. He
had become spiritual gold.
I was in the second
dark night, praying to die and secretly plotting my suicide daily, when my
California friend told me about a Myss’ book, the title now escapes me, in
which she described the dark night of the soul. I thought Myss summed it up
okay, but she did not mention the second dark night. I told my friend that I did
not think Myss had experienced either dark night. Nor, based on what I read
about her yesterday and this morning online, do I think Myss experienced the
death and rebirth Jesus called the baptism in fire and spirit, which descended
on me after I came out of the black night, not in the least turned into
spiritual gold, as far as I could tell.
That grueling baptism
was administered from the spirit by Jesus, Archangel Michael, and the Eternal
Order Melchizedek, in which the Letter to the Hebrews in the New Testament says
Jesus is a high priest. Yet, it was not nearly as bad as the black night, which
ran 16 terrible-beyond-imagining months, and started lifting when I left the
woman I was with. Only to be put through the Melchizedek healing, deliverance
from Evil, and death and rebirth program. Many deaths and rebirths and
deliverances. Still in progress.
Before the black
night, I had tried myriad treatment methods for a disabling bowel disturbance:
medicine, psychotherapy, holistic diets, herbs, mineral cleansings, various
forms of exercise, yoga, tai chi, chi kung, acupuncture, TM meditation,
psychics, craniosacral therapy, Hakomi psychotherapy, Rolfing and other forms
of bodywork, soul alchemy rituals taught to me by angels during the first dark
night, shamans, Barbara Brennan hands of light healers, homeopathic medicine,
crystal remedies, flower remedies, light spectrum remedies, radionics, affirmations,
various diets, and many other kinds of healers and methods, at a great deal of
expen$e.
Some things I tried
seemed to help my bowel function, until something in me rejected what I was
doing and I felt much worse until I stopped doing it. That’s how I came to
think what I wanted to overcome or get rid of in my bowel was intelligent and
didn’t like my meddling. So, I came to stop trying to treat it, and just lived
with it. I came to see it ebbed and flowed with the inside and outside
spiritual work being arranged for me to experience. I came to see it was rooted
in poor choices I had made, which had damaged my internal feminine. In 2015, I
met an interesting homeless woman I would run some interesting earth and heaven
rivers with, who eventually suggested I add dried prunes and raw walnuts to my
daily diet, and that helped my bowel function a lot.
Before the first dark
night, I was experientially trained, as a patient-apprentice-therapist in a
number of unconventional healing modalities, and during and following that time
people found me, who viewed me as their only hope, a doctor of last resort. I
seemed able to help those who were willing to do really intense inner work and
deal with their external human dramas in new ways. I did very little of that
kind of healing work after the black night.
However, one time
after the black night jumps out right now. A New Age reflexologist healer said
the Spirit wanted me to work with her and some of her clients. One client was a
psychiatrist. I asked her why she was seeking help? “Pain!”, she said. I asked
her close her eyes and look inside of herself and ask the pain to show its physical
location in her. She said the pain showed her where it was. She was surprised
at its location. I asked her to ask the pain what it wanted from her? She asked
and reported what the pain said it wanted. She was quite disturbed. The session
ended and she left. Later, she called the reflexologist and said she was not
coming back, she would seek other ways to get relief.
I once knew many people
who would have worked with that psychiatrist in the same way I worked with her.
However, I know of no one who would have worked with another client of that
reflexologist like I did. After getting that client to go inside, we seemed to
be getting somewhere, when she said she was going no further. She said already
she had made a deal and in exchange was getting help in parts of her life that
were important to her. She knew that I knew she had made a deal with the Devil,
and she knew the reflexologist knew. I entreated the client not to go down that
road. She said she was decided. She ended the session and left.
The reflexologist was
freaked out. She was in the Melchizedek healing, deliverance and training
program. She had told me when she was referred to me by Gloria Reiser, that she
thought she would die if I could not help her. Could I help her? I said, yes,
with God’s help, but she would have to die. Did she know what I meant? She said
she did. Jesus, Michael and Melchizedek then went to work inside of her, and
outside of her. She was shown things about herself she did not know. She was
shown Evil actually exists, which she had not thought was true. It was really
volatile for her. In just a couple of months, she was someone else entirely.
So, while I understand
people wanting to be treated gently and kindly, and to become what they think
is well, and to be happy, my myriad multi-dimensional experiences cause me to
wonder if missing out on what that reflexologist and I were put through, and I
still am being put through, cheats them out of experiencing what they might
need much more than they can possibly imagine?
Many years after the
black night, I had a lengthy email discussion with Antonio De Nicholas. I found
him interesting and likable. He reported having the then pope’s ear, and he
said he wondered why that was? But as we conversed, it became clear that De
Nicolas was a skilled scribe and gifted poet, but he did not seem to have
experienced the two dark nights, nor the baptism in spirit and fire death and
rebirth.
As for Myss, my sense
is she is adept at learning what people said or wrote, and she repackages it to
make a living, but I do not think she has lived the spiritual healing and
transformation she teaches. Myss held forth on Teresa de Avila’s inner castle
work, but does Myss really do that work? And, was Teresa all that
spiritually-transformed?
De Nicolas reported
that Teresa and Juan were friends. They lived in the same Carmelite Order in
Spain. Juan told Teresa that the voices she was hearing were not coming from
God, and she did not take his warning to heart. Was Teresa influence by
Lucifer, whom Juan warned in his commentaries might be behind any and all spiritual
phenomena, thus best to ignore all spiritual phenomena?
Had I followed Juan’s
advice, my life would have gone very differently. I came to view the spiritual
phenomena as parts of me either waking up or returning. Parts of me that I had
lost, forgotten, thrown away, or did not even know existed.
A poem that fell out
of me in the spring of 1994 seemed to sum it up.
Earth -
The sacred prism
through which souls are refracted
into their elemental parts,
purified in Holy Fire,
then one-forged
and sent on their way
to not even God knows where,
simply because they are all
unique emanations of God,
evolving
I imagine if Myss
spent time with me and went inside and listened to what was anxious to speak
with her, she might get really upset. She might get really mad at me. That
happened in Santa Fe with a lady psychologist PhD, who also was a certified
Jungian analyst, before I lived in Boulder.
I don’t know if Myss
wonders about Lucifer influencing her. It looks to me Lucifer is influencing
most of humanity. I depend on my Melchizedek training and the angels who own me
to advise me when I’m being duped by Lucifer and/or my demonic twin.
I can’t help but
wonder if humanity will be allowed to continue its current/historical avoidance
of the baptism in fire and spirit, including meeting and dealing with the
internal demonic twin, as was required of Jesus during his 40 days in the wilderness?
I can’t help but
wonder if, humanity, which is killing its planet home, and whose nuclear power
disasters also are damaging other dimensions, is on the verge of being
recycled, again, by angels?
I imagine putting
every human being in the baptism of fire and spirit might prune humanity down
to perhaps 50,000 individuals, a planet-saving reboot.
Why not, if every incarnated
soul on this world sooner or later has to experience the baptism in fire and
spirit death and rebirth to get off the karmic wheel and not have to come back?
Meanwhile, I get up
each day and try to do the best I can with what comes before me. I think that
is all anyone can do.
Postscript:
After I wrote what I
thought might be a finished draft of this chapter, Gloria Reiser emailed me:
… regarding comments about
Teresa, regardless of where she was spiritually, and I'm not one to claim
anything regarding the source or the reasons for her experiences, though her
writings are challenging to navigate, I've found entering my own Interior Castle
and exploring there to be invaluable. And just as Teresa claims God/the
Beloved/the Divine to be in the center, I believe at very least a higher
wiser part of the Self resides there.... it not the Self, then perhaps the
Aumakua (Wise Totally Trustworthy Male and Female Guardian Spirits) perhaps
also known as Guardian Angels, or by a host of other names individuals have
used through the aeons, and many many cultures and times, in attempts to
understand and define that ultimate guiding wisdom source.
Then, Gloria emailed
me:
Sloan,
Regarding Caroline
Myss, have you viewed this?
I've not watched all of it yet but once she
gets beyond the first minute of complementing people and food, she speaks of
her own transformation.... having Post Traumatic Workshop Syndrome, and at
about 2 minutes in she claims she does not meditate, never has, never will.
Doesn't do quiet moments, never has never will. She's all about prayer
now - which to me is entwined with meditation..... I haven't had time to view
the whole of this, but probably will a bit at a time in order to attempt to
decipher what she is claiming to be about now.
Then Gloria texted me:
Okay. I took time to watch the talk Caroline
Myss made in Canada. She seems to be in the midst of a transition. Somethings
she talked about I can relate to. I felt in few places she might have better
stated, “This is my experience,” rather than claiming it so for everyone. A few
times she admits she is detached and unemotional. Even had folks laughing at
the end about how she is. It’s worth watching the speech. Something is with
her. An awakening or transformation of sorts.
I emailed Gloria:
My guts started feeling invaded
yesterday afternoon, and it's worse at 6 a.m. this morning. Spirit poison. The
only thing going on in my life yesterday and now, of which I am aware, which
could provoke such a sensation, is Caroline Myss topic.
Around the 21-minute mark in the video you
provided, when Myss spoke of Teresa's inner castle work, I fell asleep. Leading
up to then, I saw no haughtiness or meanness in Myss. If, as she said, she does
not meditate, how can she do Teresa's inner castle work? How can she have the
rich interior life she said she has? She told no details of her rich interior
life. She said now she's into praying. But she did not say what she prays
about. Where's the beef? Did she provide beef later in the video? I think the
time to grab an audience, is at the outset. Give them pause for thought. Not
ramble and ramble. I felt sorry for Myss. I read reader comments under the
video. All oohs and ahs. There does seem to be something with Myss now. As if
she has been stopped and is being redirected. But then, perhaps she is just
recycling again, praying this time, what others did before her, so she could
continue making money off it? I don't know. I'm not inside of her. I don't know
if she dreams, or has visions, or hears voices directing and schooling her, or
is stood before mirrors, and, if so, what she sees and hears. I think she's
still in the baby pool. However, I will add this comment into what I wrote
about her.
A homeless friend called
me from Key West about 5 a.m. my time today. She said she had a dream she’d had
before. I was on my big white horse. It and I were wearing shiny armor. I was
using my big shiny sword to chop off a whole lot of people’s heads. I had a big
grin on my face. That dream reminds me of the art of Kali, who stands on
Shiva’s chest after she has chopped off a whole lot of men’s heads. I figured
she did not care for how men think. But the problem seems to reside in women,
too. In the main.
Rosa Mystica, the Blacksmith, Rainbows and
Real People
This fell out of me early 1994, in Boulder:
Rosa
Mystica
Sweet
Mystery
Bride of
Christ
Living
Water
without
which
there are
no rainbows
and God is
dead.
I thought
Rosa Mystica might be Mary Magdalene, an emanation from the Holy Spirit, and
perhaps Cha, and, I hoped, a part of me.
Then, this
came:
He feels deep beauty in the dark pool from which his writings
flow. She clings to him like fine silk, precious oil. She feels solid, like … a
black pearl, growing from inside out, ever larger with each stroke of his pen,
pushing her precious waters over her banks into his dreams and life.
I figured
that was The Muse.
This then
leaped out of me.
Only fools
rush in
where angels
fear to tread,
but if there
were no fools,
who'd lead
the angels?
I thought
that might be about Jesus. I went into a thrall. I felt something huge trying
to wriggle its way into me. Marvelous feeling, divine ecstasy. And, a really
tight squeeze. The thrall, wriggling and ecstasy went on for about two weeks.
Then, out
for a regular morning walk, at the turnaround point to head home, I sensed
angels around me. I heard, "This thing coming into you is your angel twin.
All human beings have an angel twin, and yours will live out your life with
you" Neat, I thought. "By the way, this is your son." I welled
with emotion and nearly fell to the ground.
In late
August of 1994, I dreamed of a terrible, black storm coming toward me. Waking,
I saw a black blacksmith. Later same day, pen in hand, I recorded this:
I am the
blacksmith,
this storm
is my forge.
You are the
carbon gemsteel
I hammer into
my black diamond laser-sword,
to split
lightning and thunder
and slice
rain, sleet and hail
into things
of beauty.
In May of
1995, this fell out of me over breakfast one morning:
Shaman you
now are.
Angels walk
beside you
and call
you their brother,
even as you
curse the heavens
for making
you one
who wields
the lightning.
Be kind to
your brothers and sisters,
but take no
prisoners
Kill them
all in my name,
as I have
killed you,
So that
they, and you,
might live.
I thought
the voice was the blacksmith. I thought I had arrived. Heh, it was only getting
started.
My life in
Boulder melted down. I booked a flight from Bolder to Nepal, to trek. I left on
September 11, 1995, the day after the 28th anniversary of my son’s
funeral.
I was
really out of shape. Creeping up the foot trail, carrying a small backpack, I
passed in the shadow of Fish Tail Mountain, where gods were said to live and
foreigners were not allowed to roam.
When I
finally reached Anapurna Base Camp at about 15,000 feet, it was socked in. I
waited for the weather to clear, so I could see the sun rise over Fish Tail and
light up a rim of peaks that dwarfed the Colorado Rockies.
As the sun
struck that towering rim on the third morning, I sensed something coming. The
blacksmith, huge, standing before the towering peaks, looking down at me. I
dropped to one knee, hoping I might hear, “The Father and I are one.” Me, the
son. Heh. Instead, I heard, “The son and I are one.” The blacksmith was Jesus.
Heh, I had traveled half-way around the world to be shown that.
Then, I was
sent to Australia, where I had long thought I wanted to live. I landed in Darwin,
a northern seaport named after Charles Darwin. I checked into the local youth
hostel and booked a 3-day tour into Kakadu, in the outback, where I had read
part of the first “Crocodile Dundee” movie was filmed.
It was me
and six or seven amicable white Australians and two young white Australian
guides, all half my age, in two what today are called SUVs. After visiting
several interesting sites, and being swarmed by billions of flies, which did
not bite, and having dinner, we were racing down a wash-boarded dirt road,
toward a state park campsite. I was in the back with three other clients.
Before me
appeared from dream time two Aborigines, a man and a woman, somewhat younger
than I. Only I saw them. At that time, it was my habit to ask visitors from the
spirit world what I had that they wanted? I asked them telepathically. They
laughed, said telepathically, “We are Real People, what could you have that we
want?” I grimaced, chuckled, asked, “Well, then, why did you come?” They said,
“To welcome you into our tribe.” Tears welled, my heart heaved. The Aborgines
dissolved back into dreamtime.
I knew they
were from the wild aborigine tribe describe in Marlo Morgan’s electrifying
book, MUTANT MESSAGE DOWN UNDER. Her report of a spontaneous walkabout
with a wild aborigine tribe, after she went to Australia ostensibly to present
at a mental health conference of some kind.
I had read
Morgan’s book in Boulder a few years prior and felt in my soul it was genuine,
even if some details had been altered to protect the identity and location of
the tribe from civilized government and its ways.
Morgan
reported that the tribe was telepathic, and spoke with their mouths in her
presence, because she was not telepathic. Some of them had never lived in
civilization. Others had, but realized they were losing their essence and
returned to the tribe and were restored.
They got up
each morning and waited on a sign to point their direction of travel that day.
A snake crossing before them, a bird in the air, a kangaroo going somewhere,
the direction of the wind.
They helped
each other see themselves more clearly.
The
dreaming (dreamtime) was reality, what happened on this world was distortion.
They called
themselves, The Real People, and they called civilized people, mutants. They
had chosen to stop reproducing children and leave this planet, and wished the
mutants well.
One of the
tribe members had a soul contract to try to help Morgan, and the entire tribe
was participating in that effort. After doing what they could for Morgan, they
brought her back to civilization with a message for mutants.
Morgan
self-published MUTANT MESSAGE DOWN UNDER out of her basement with her
son’s and a copying machine’s help. It created a sensation in America. Sold
several hundred thousand copies. I called the Morgan home one day and spoke
with the son and said it was a wonderful book.
A major
publishing company bought the book and republished it as fiction, because
Morgan declined to provide any proof that the tribe actually existed. Morgan’s
introduction to the republished book told readers, who wanted to know, what she
thought about that.
I then read
in several publications that MUTANT MESSAGE was poorly received in
mainstream and aborigine Australia. Morgan was accused of having made it all
up, and apologies were demanded. She said she was sorry that people were
offended, but she could not say she made it all up.
I myself
was more interested in whether Morgan was able to be a real person in
mainstream, for it looked to me she perhaps was drifting back into its ways.
Real People recognize each other, but mutants do not recognize Real People.
After the
three days in the outback, I wondered what I was supposed to do? I had a
6-months visa in Australia, where I had thought I might roam for a while. Yet,
I felt perhaps that was not in store for me.
I was
eating nights at a restaurant across the street from the hostel. Over a meal, I
asked for guidance. Onto the restaurant’s music system came, “The Dawning of
the Age of Aquarius”. Then, “Sweet Home Alabama.”
I booked a
flight on an interior airline to Sydney, with connection on Qantas to Los
Angeles, via Auckland, New Zealand, another country where I had thought I might
wish to live. I called the Sidney youth hostel and reserved the last bed they
had for the night I would arrive.
Arriving at
the Sydney hostel, I checked in, put my backpack on my bunk, and returned to
the front desk and asked if there was a pub nearby where an old person could go
and not get his ears blasted by loud music? The fellow at the front desk told
me there was such a pub about three blocks up the street.
As I
entered the pub, “Sweet Home Alabama” came onto the music system. I had planned
to spend a month in New Zealand. I spent one night. I was being sent back to
Alabama, where it all had begun, to see if I could be a real person in
mainstream society.
Oh me, oh
my.
The black
night came and went.
The baptism
in fire and spirit came and continued.
Years
passed.
It dawned
on me that what had wriggled into me after the-fools-rush-in poem came, was
Jesus, and perhaps my son, who had died for me, too.
Heh, it was
only getting started.
Heh, maybe
it’s still only getting started.
Meanwhile,
my mysterious friend, Young Prophet, told me last night of a string of dreams
he had the night before, of him, me, Archangel Michael and an elder black man
doing a walkabout in the outback, traveling between watering holes shown to the
black man by the Aborigine snake god. The elder black man and Michael were
instructing Young Prophet and me.
I told
Young Prophet about my time in Kakadu. He said that years before we met in
early 2017, he dreamed of me doing a walkabout in the outback with a black man.
I said I
had read in Boulder of NASA losing one of its satellites and an aborigine had
walked into a NASA tracking station somewhere in Australia and had told them
where to look in the sky for the satellite. They looked there and found the
satellite.
Young
Prophet said he also had read of an aborigine telling NASA where to look for
the lost satellite, and the aborigine and his family and tribe were asked to
pose for photos and they declined because that was against their ways.
The rainbow
serpent is an Australian Aborigine god. I saw an ancient drawing of the rainbow
serpent on a rock wall during the Kakadu tour.
On
September 12, 1993, the 26th anniversary of my son’s funeral a stunning cosmic
eulogy poem fell out of me. That poem is lost, but not fragments from a poem
that soon followed.
Rainbows
know no master.
Fueled by
Father Sun,
Rainbows
paint heavens beautiful,
make angels
sing,
and touch
Misty Earth
only Heaven
knows where.
Rainbows
are more sparkling than diamonds,
more
precious than pearls,
more
brilliant than gold.
Rainbows
are you, and me,
full
spectrums of Infinity
blazing
across Eternity.
Rainbow are
now.
And this
poem:
White is
black,
Black is
white,
When they
fuse,
Rainbows
bloom.
And this
poem.
The Tree of Life grows not on the battleground of good and evil,
but in a quite meadow, beside a gentle stream, under a beautiful rainbow that
knows not right or wrong.
My take
away: The Real People are rainbow people, who enjoy the original soul
consciousness of humanity. They live in “Eden”. That is seen in MUTANT
MESSAGE DOWN UNDER.
Young
Prophet had a sequel dream of him and me being with Michael and the elder black
aborigine. We were at a cliff by the sea. There was a waterfall and a village
of thatched huts. No people were visible. Michael told us to look carefully for
people there. Then, we saw people. Real People. The elder aborigine said,
perfection is for God, we should focus on seeing Real People. Young Prophet
said, but what’s the point if there are only two of us? The elder aborigine
said, even if there were only one person, it needs to be done.
Marlo
Morgan reported that when she asked The Real People about Jesus, they said he
was a good man who came to try to help mutants. While I deeply appreciate The
Real People, it was the long, progressing baptism in fire and spirit,
administered by Jesus, Michael and Melchizedek, which changed me.
I see the
same happening to Young Prophet. I saw the same happen to the New Age
reflexologist woman referred to me by Gloria Reiser, and to a non-practicing
Jewish New Age guru male friend of mine before that.
From time
to time, I told people, and published on my blogs, that people born into
Christianity, who went searching elsewhere for help, were trying to find the
Jesus they could not find in Christendom, and what they needed to do was seek
the real Jesus.
Meanwhile,
perhaps I am to follow Marlo Morgan’s lead and self-publish these spontaneous
ramblings? Young Prophet told me that is easy to do today. He’s a wizard with
IT stuff. But then, I self-published quite a few times and prefer go straight
to a major publishing company, for a change - and stay out of way, this time.
We plan,
God laughs!
God’s will,
not mine, be done.
Seeking Vs. Being Captured by God
Star Date: September
26, 2019.
In some circles, 26 is the number for God.
I heard from time to time: “Better not begin the spiritual path,
than to begin and then try to get out of it.”
I also heard what I supposed came from the Sufi branch of Islam,
“Let God kill him who himself does not know and yet presumes to show others the
ways to the door of His kingdom.”
I reported earlier in these ramblings that,
after I figured out that practicing law in my hometown, Birmingham, Alabama,
was not working, nor was anything else, I moved from to Santa Fe, New Mexico in
early 1986. Hoping. Things. Would. Get. Better. What happened, however, was got
a whole lot different, and better took on an entirely new meaning, after Jesus
and Michael woke me up in the wee hours and said I would be pushed to my
limits, but I had asked for it, and they were going to give it to me. I was
jolted three times by spiritual lighting, and it’s fair to say it was all over
but a whole heap of shouting for pretty much the rest of my life, so far.
In September 1987, I moved from Santa Fe to Boulder, Colorado, and
sometimes drove down to Santa Fe for a visit. I vividly recall one such trip to
see friends I had met in Jay Sherer’s massage and natural healing school, and
to see a couple I had met during an earlier trip to Jimez, situated on a back
road from Albuquerque to Los Alamos. The woman in that couple was a massage
therapist, New Age energy healer. The man was into Zen and chop wood, carry
water. They were to drive from Jimez to Santa Fe, to have dinner with me and my
then wife.
For something to do that afternoon, I went to St. Francis’
Cathedral on the town square. I read an inscription out front, that Francis was
the patron saint of New Mexico. How could I have lived in Santa Fe for most of
two years and not known that? I entered the church, sat in a pew in the
beautiful nave, and was taken over by something enormous. My heart cracked
open. I wept and heaved openly. It went on quite a while.
Leaving the cathedral, I read St. Francis’ prayer again, displayed
in a marquis outside the church.
Lord make me an instrument of
your peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life
Amen
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life
Amen
Over dinner that night, I told my Jimez friends a little about
what had happened in the Cathedral. They said a Sufi teacher was in Santa Fe,
and they were going to see him the next morning. Would I like to join them?
Sure.
After breakfast the next morning, I went back into St. Francis’
cathedral. Whatever was there the day before, was still there. More weeping and
heaving. I left the church and walked toward the rendezvous point where my
friends would pick me.
I realized angels were around me. I heard in my mind, “Stay on
your toes, something interesting is going to happen, and don’t mess it up like
you did another time.” I remembered a time I had messed up something important
that came to me from the spirit world.
My friends arrived. I got into the backseat and off we went to a
north Santa Fe suburb where the Sufi was staying in the home of one of his
American students.
After parking the car out front, we went to the front door and
knocked. A white American woman opened the door into a mostly bare living room,
with sitting cushions along the walls. She told us to have a seat, and asked
for our first names, which we provided. She walked toward the back of the home.
We three sat down and heard the woman speaking in a foreign language. We heard
a man respond in a foreign language. We heard our names.
The woman returned to the living room, said, “He wants to see
Sloan first.”
My friends seemed somewhat startled. I shrugged, got up and
followed the woman into a room where sat on a cushion a white-bearded man much
older than my nearly 50 years.
The woman introduced me to the Sufi and him to me, in English and
the foreign language. Then, she translated what he said to me and I said back
to him, as follows.
He asked why I had come to see him? I said I wasn’t sure, a
married couple, who were friends of mine and were his students, had invited me.
He asked what I knew about Sufism? While I knew a good bit about
Sufism for a white guy from Alabama, my mind went blank.
He said Sufism is the way of the heart. I said I actually knew
that but had been unable to speak. I was ever thinking about the alert that
something interesting was going to happen.
He said I had come so he could teach me about Sufism and God.
I said I knew quite a few people who had lit up when they met
their spiritual teacher. They wept, had goosebumps. The Sufi said not to
measure myself by other people. I agreed, thanked him.
The Sufi said plumbers, carpenters and electricians have a human
teacher to learn those trades. Likewise, a person needs a human spiritual
teacher to learn about God.
I related what had happened to me the day before, and again that
morning, in St. Francis’ cathedral. The Sufi said God opened my heart in the
cathedral and sent me to him, the Sufi, to be taught the way of the heart and
about God.
I said I was not sure about that. What about St. Francis?
After having a vision of thee Christ, Francis went through a
near-death illness/dark night, and when he came out of it, he was someone else
entirely.
The Sufi said he did not know who was Francis’ spiritual teacher.
I said, Francis had no spiritual teacher. God came directly to him.
In that moment, a presence appeared in our midst. Tears filled my
eyes, goosebumps covered my arms, back and neck.
Knowing the Sufi was aware of the presence. I looked at him,
showed him my arms, said, “You see?”
Silence.
I thanked the Sufi.
He said I should thank God, not him.
I said, Yes, that was correct.
I thanked God, told the Sufi I had gotten what I had come for, and
he had people waiting, who needed to see him.
I rose to leave, said, “God be with you.” The Sufi said the same
to me.
I went into the kitchen, where I found my friends. I was
trembling. The woman put her hands on me, energy work, trying to calm me down.
I told her, please don’t, she would mess it up. I said I needed to leave, could
they take me back into town? They said, OK.
I felt badly that I had pulled them away from seeing the Sufi, but
I felt something really important had happened, which might be more important
than them seeing the Sufi.
Over lunch, for which I paid, I told them what had happened when I
was with the Sufi. I expected them to get it. They didn’t get it. They said
they were worried about me. I wondered how that was possible?
I had a number of later interactions with the couple. Then, they
broke up. He eventually ended up in Boulder.
I took him to Boulder Creek one day, and taught him a soul alchemy
ritual the angels had given to me not long before.
Basically, the ritual consisted of him closing his eyes and asking
God, or whatever, to be shown what he needed to see right then. To wait, until
something showed up.
He waited a good while longer than most people had waited, whom I
had taught the ritual.
Then, something showed up. He was elated. He had never had
anything like that happen.
I told him to stick with it and to ask if there was anything else
he needed to be shown? Something came, which seemed to be a symbolic catalyst,
or spirit medicine, for what he first was shown.
He remained elated, and yet seemed mystified. I said he had opened
a door, and he could use that ritual anytime he wished, or not, but things were
going to change for him.
He left Boulder not long after that. I don’t know how it then went
for him or for his former lady. I don’t remember if I taught her the soul
alchemy ritual. Perhaps I did. I taught it to quite a few people in Boulder.
Back then, and later, as I was turned upside down and every which
a way but loose in many ways by spirit forces that had captured me, and by
other forces, I had a really hard time being St. Francis’ prayer. I still have
a really hard time being that prayer.
It looks to me that Francis was fast-tracked through death and
rebirth, and then God put him to work that greatly impacted the Roman Catholic
Church and that part of Christendom.
I was not fast-tracked. Or, if I was, I fell off the tracks. In
any event, I was put to work, and as far as I can tell, most of it was the
sound of one hand clapping.
I wonder what the Sufi teacher in Santa Fe might have thought
about the legendary Sufi poet, Rumi, who seemed to have a direct line to
something a bit larger than himself? Or, was Rumi’s famous chickpea poem about
his own spiritual teacher, Shams?
Chickpea to Cook
Rumi – Translated by Coleman Barks
Rumi – Translated by Coleman Barks
A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot
where it’s being boiled.
‘Why are you doing this to me?’
The cook knocks him down with the ladle.
‘Don’t you try to jump out.
You think I’m torturing you.
I’m giving you flavor,
so you can mix with spices and rice
and be the lovely vitality of a human being.
Remember when you drank rain in the garden.
That was for this.’
Grace first. Sexual pleasure,
then a boiling new life begins,
and the Friend has something good to eat.
Eventually the chickpea will say to the cook,
‘Boil me some more.
Hit me with the skimming spoon.
I can’t do this by myself.
I’m like an elephant that dreams of gardens
back in Hindustan and doesn’t pay attention
to his driver. You’re my cook, my driver,
my way into existence. I love your cooking.’
The cook says,
‘I was once like you,
fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time,
and boiled in the body, two fierce boilings.
My animal soul grew powerful.
I controlled it with practices,
and boiled some more, and boiled
once beyond that,
and became your teacher.’
where it’s being boiled.
‘Why are you doing this to me?’
The cook knocks him down with the ladle.
‘Don’t you try to jump out.
You think I’m torturing you.
I’m giving you flavor,
so you can mix with spices and rice
and be the lovely vitality of a human being.
Remember when you drank rain in the garden.
That was for this.’
Grace first. Sexual pleasure,
then a boiling new life begins,
and the Friend has something good to eat.
Eventually the chickpea will say to the cook,
‘Boil me some more.
Hit me with the skimming spoon.
I can’t do this by myself.
I’m like an elephant that dreams of gardens
back in Hindustan and doesn’t pay attention
to his driver. You’re my cook, my driver,
my way into existence. I love your cooking.’
The cook says,
‘I was once like you,
fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time,
and boiled in the body, two fierce boilings.
My animal soul grew powerful.
I controlled it with practices,
and boiled some more, and boiled
once beyond that,
and became your teacher.’
Likewise, these Rumi verses:
What you call love
is but subtle degrees of domination;
Love is like the moon in the window,
It's just there.
Beyond good and evil is a field,
and I will meet you there.
Imagine what Islam would be like to day, if it embraced Rumi and
Shams.
Imagine what Christendom would be like today, if it embraced Francis
of Assisi and Jesus.
At the suggestion of Boulder, Colorado street people in 1993, who
seemed really interested in what I told them of some of my mystical adventures
(they had a hard time accepting were not chemically-induced), I rented and
watched “Brother Son Sister Moon”, about Francis of Assisi and his childhood
girlfriend, Claire.
In the film, Francis was in a church service, when Jesus on the
cross statue stared down at him and he then went into a swoon and then came
long illness. After the illness lifted, Francis realized he no longer had any
desire to work in his merchant father’s business. He went into the business and
started tossing free merchandise out windows onto the street for townspeople to
take for free. This really disturbed Francis’ father. Francis undressed down to
butt naked in the town center and gave his clothes to the local priest and left
the town. When Francis’ father lamented this to the priest, the priest said he
was powerless. Francis had chosen to follow Jesus, literally. Already, Jesus
had asked Francis in a vision to help him rebuild his church. Francis found an
old broken-down church in the countryside and started restoring it, stone by
stone. Slowly, people who had known him, joined him. Claire joined him. They
took vows of poverty and celibacy, all of them. The church membership grew.
Soon Francis’ congregation was larger than the town’s church congregation.
Then, a lot larger. The bishop sent soldiers to burn Francis’ church. Francis
was so distraught, that he, accompanied by two Franciscan brothers he had grown
up with, walked barefooted all the way to Rome, so Francis could ask the pope
why God hated him, that his church was burned? One of Francis’ traveling
companions tried to school Francis on how to address the pope properly.
However, when they entered the great hall where the pope sat on a throne surrounded
by religious men clad in refined clothing and hats with bird plumage, Francis
recited the passage about the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, and
what God had provided for them to wear. The righteous men around the pope were
outraged. The pope, played by the actor who was Obi Wan Kenobi in “Star Wars”)
seemed smitten, said, sometimes we forget. The pope came down off his throne
and walked to Francis. The pope said he wanted to kiss Francis’ hand, which he
did. The pope looked skyward, and, as if struck by something, said he wanted to
kiss Francis’ feet, which he did.
As recorded Roman Catholic Church history, after many years of
being a monk with a huge following of Franciscan brothers and sisters Claire,
Francis had a revelation of something enormous and precious headed his way. The
physical wounds of Christ on the cross then appeared on Francis’ body. Soon
after, he left this life. That was the earliest report of anyone receiving what
became called, "The Stigmata”. Francis was the only person recognized to have
received all the physical wounds Jesus suffered on the cross.
Gurus
I met many people in Santa Fe and Boulder, and elsewhere, who had
a spiritual guru, which means, teacher. Most usually, a yogi in India. Each of
those people seemed to me, to be possessed by their guru. As if the guru was
inside of them, an integral part of them. Even people who had left their guru
still seemed so possessed.
In Boulder, there was a Tibetan Buddhist Rinpoche (very high
lama), who had founded an internationally famous college and temple. He had a
large congregation in Boulder. It was known in Boulder that this Rinpoche was
an alcoholic, and he had sex with many of his male and female parishioners.
After he died of liver disease, his hand-picked Anglo-American successor
continued those practices. The successor contract HIV and did not tell his
parishioners, with whom he was having sex. A number of them contracted HIV. It
made the local and national news. That Buddhist community split in half. One
half separated. The other half was outraged it had been made public, said it
was a karma thing the victims needed to experience.
The New Age reflexologist referred to me in 1999 by Gloria Reiser,
told me she thought she would die if I could not help her. Could I help her? I
said, yes, with God’s help. But she would have to die. Did she know what I
meant? She said she thought she did. Cathy said her birth family had had nothing
to do with religion. I sent her some things I had written. Shortly, she
reported that Jesus and Michael had trapped her in her living room, and onto a
wall was projected:
INAPPROPRIATE
SEXXUAL
BEHAVIOR
FATHER
The walls in Cathy’s home started bending. Demons flew in and out
of the fireplace and chimney windows. She was terrified. She heard that her
father had sex with her from age three to age eighteen, when she left her parents’
home and never returned. She said she had no memory of having sex with her
father, but she had known she had to leave her parents’ home and never return,
and that is what she did at age eighteen.
Then commenced about three weeks of volatile angel healing inside
of her. Several sessions a day, while I basically held her hand. The year
before, I had been treated to angel healing of being molested by my mother in
my crib. My mother had been tortured emotionally and psychically by her Puritan
Baptist parents. She was damaged psychically and in her natural sexual
expression.
I had no recollection of the incest. The healing was about three
weeks, two to three spontaneous sessions a day. I relieved each infraction energetically.
It was violent and terrifying beyond human comprehension. A close friend had
been given what seemed like perfect audio spirit reception. He told me what he
was hearing from the angels during each of their healing sessions on me. I
don’t know how I could have gotten through it without his help.
Cathy emerged from her incest healing, a new person. She reported
Melchizedek also was now with her. She had perfect spirit vision, hearing and
empathy. If the angels wished, she saw, heard and felt everything in someone
near her. Peachy.
Cathy said the angels told her that she and I were supposed to be
together. I said it was therapeutic transference, and I was with a woman I
wanted to grow old and die with. Cathy said, okay. The next day, she said the
angels told her to wait and see. A couple of days later, the lady I wanted to live
out my days with was told in her sleep, lying beside me, “You are not the one.”
It scared the shit out of her. She was a regular churchgoer. She sometimes heard
from God. She knew it was over between us.
Cathy once had a yogi guru from India, who, based on what she told
me of him, was an okay man. He did not have sex with his students. He tried to
help them evolve. She eventually left him, but she still missed him, even
though he had died. She dreamt of him one night, sitting above her head in the
lotus position, sucking energy out of her head (crown chakra) into his pelvis
(root chakra). When she told me about it the next morning, I said that needed
to stop. I told her I was going to talk and she should report to me what she
saw and heard. I told the guru he needed to get on with his life. He was
holding her and himself back. He had far more important things to be doing. I
asked Jesus and Michael to deal with it. She said Jesus and Michael were taking
her guru away. She started crying. Her heart heaved. I said it needed to
happen.
Later that year, Cathy and I were told to travel. We had very
little money, and some credit cards we used to get cash advances. By and by, we
spent a while in South Africa. Then, we made plans to go to Mumbai, India.
After applying for visas at the Indian Consulate in Durban, we went to an
Indian restaurant to commemorate the trip. When the food came, Cathy took one
bite and said she was about to throw up. She raced to the bathroom and threw up
and then went into dry heaves. We left the restaurant. We changed our airline
reservations to spend 30 days layover in Mauritius, instead of 3 days, and 3
days in India, instead of 30.
Mauritius was quite nice, except for on interlude, which started
when I began hearing there was an evil greater than Lucifer. After about three
days of hearing that, Cathy told me she heard from Michael, “If Sloan can
imagine an evil greater than Lucifer, then it exists. That night, Jesus and his
mother came to Cathy as we were lying in bed. They told Cathy that, when Jesus
was young, his mother had molested him. I was enraged, not because it had
happened, incest was as common back then as it was in 2000, but because I knew
the terrible havoc keeping it secret had wreaked in the collective soul of
Christendom and its members.
Just as the fantasy that Jesus’ mother was a virgin had wreaked
similar havoc.
As had the fantasy that Jesus was celibate. If Magdalene publicly
washed his feet with her tears and hair, and then anointed his feet with
precious ointment she scarce could afford, what did she wash and anoint him
with when they were in private?
I figured what Cathy was told by Jesus and his mother explained
why he spoke pejoratively to and of her in the Gospels.
The next day, or perhaps the day after, white-hot, painful lesions
formed inside Cathy’s thighs, just below her vagina. Over the next few days the
lesions grew in size and the pain increased. We understood this was the result
of what Cathy had been told by Jesus and his mother. It was that spirit poison
manifest in the flesh.
It dawned on me that we needed to make love. Cathy was not
receptive. I said it would help her move the spirit poison out of her. She relented.
We made love, slowly. She was passive. It was beautiful. She had a really
powerful orgasm. The lesions began to shrink. In a few days they were
gone.
It was time to go to India. At the Mumbai airport, we rented a
taxi and I asked the driver if he could take us to an affordable hotel near the
waterfront? He said he could. Going into the city, we passed acres and acres of
scarcely-clothed homeless people in very close quarters, clad in rags, sitting
and lying on mud, towels, sheets, cardboard. Cathy said all she saw in the air
was serpents. I said, not the nice kind of serpents seen on Saturday morning
cartoons? No, not that kind of serpents, she said.
We both felt ill those three days, like we had absorbed a dark
malaise. We went into the nearby Taj Mahal Hotel, where the very rich stayed.
The front desk said a room for two was $1,500 US a night. We were paying $50 a
night two blocks away on the waterfront. We were very glad to leave India.
After spending the night in the Tokyo airport motel, we felt much better. We
flew to Hawaii, where the credit card companies figured out what we were doing
and cut of off and we became homeless. On the bright side, the credit card
companies did not cut us off in South Africa, Mauritius or India.
There are many ways to grow close to God, but it looks to me that
the fast-tract as safest way is the way Francis of Assisi was given. The way
Cathy and I were given.
Being taken
over by something much bigger and incomprehensible, and instructed, disciplined
and changed.
Is that not what happened to guru Jesus? Is that not what happened
to his disciples? He planted seeds, which sprouted after The Holy Spirit seized
the disciples at Pentecost and grew them into gurus God could use.
The Work
In perhaps 1985, I read G.I. Gurdjieff’s Meetings With Remarkable
Men, in which he reports the once young seeker of spiritual mysteries,
himself, having once stumbled across a dervish with his students in the
countryside. A dervish was an Islamic holy man. Or, a Sufi. A mystic.
Gurdjieff joined the group and listened to the dervish speak to
his students. By and by, Gurdjieff asked the dervish, “What about breathing
practices?”. The dervish said there was something to breathing practices, but
Gurdjieff should not attempt them, or he might be injured.
After listening to the dervish a while longer, Gurdjieff announced
that he chewed each bite of his food 100 times before swallowing it. The
dervish asked Gurdjieff if that was something he had read in a book? Gurdjieff
said it was. The dervish told Gurdjieff that much chewing would weaken his
stomach and cause more problems. He should be eating bones and cracking them
with his teeth and swallowing, to make his stomach strong.
The dervish addressed the entire group: “Let God kill him who himself
does not know and yet presumes to show others the way to the door of His
kingdom.”
After many years of blindly searching for hidden truths, Gurdjieff
was invited into a secret sect and was blindfolded and taken on horseback to a
remote mountain spiritual community somewhere in the Middle East or Eurasia,
where he finally began his spiritual journey. It was said by people I then knew
that the secret sect perhaps were Sufis.
What most stuck out for me in Gurdjieff’s report of some of his
experiences in that secret community was one of the brothers telling Gurdjieff
and other newcomers of two very old members of the brotherhood, like, maybe
hundreds of years old, who came around from time to time. They spoke to the
brothers until it was time for them to go elsewhere.
One of the ancient brother’s spoke so eloquently that they hung on
his every word. The other ancient brother mumbled and they hardly understood
anything he said to them. After the ancient teachers left, the brothers
gathered to discuss it. They learned that they recalled very little of what the
eloquent elder had said, because he had spoken to them from his mind. But they
remembered nearly everything the mumbling elder had said, because he had spoken
to them from his being.
Although I already was reading stuff I’d never heard about in
school or church, I suppose Meetings With Remarkable Men had quite an
effect on me in ways I did not yet recognize.
Same for Gurdjieff’s first book, Beelzebub’s Tales to His
Grandson, which I think I read in 1989. Posing as a repentant, wizened-by-many-years
Beelzebub, Gurdjieff undertakes to teach his grandson, Gurdjieff’s students and
any other readers, all and everything.
Beelzebub told his grandson that human beings are three-brain
beings: mind, heart, will, and all three brains needed developing.
A fellow by pen name A.H. Almas wrote several books about The
Work, as Gurdjieff and some Sufis and other people called personal spiritual
development. My experience with Alamas and some of his students was they were mostly
working on the will center.
There work was similar to what I read in A COURSE IN MIRACLES,
which was channeled. Whenever something happens that disturbs you, do not
react, do not try to fix or change it. Just let the feelings have you and let
it run its course. Do that as an ongoing practice. You will change.
What jumped out most at me in Beelzebub’s Tales was he told
his grandson that, of all the great saints who had lived on this planet, the
one whose teachings had the most chance of helping humanity, was St. Jesus (who
had promoted resist not one who does evil, turn the other cheek, pray for and
do good to your enemies).
When I mentioned that to the Birmingham, Alabama friend, who had
turned me onto Gurdjieff, she looked like she had been poked by a cattle prod.
When I treated her to a demonstration of some of the healing therapies I had
learned in Santa Fe and Boulder, she got really emotional. That disturbed her.
She was not accustomed to crying and trembling. I thought there was a great
deal in her, which her long devotion to Gurdjieff and participating in groups
led by elders in the Gurdjieff movement had left untouched: very serious
disturbances in her body, emotions, mind and soul.
I liked best Gurdjieff’s third book, Life is Real Only Then, When 'I Am': All and Everything…, which I recall reading in 1991. Gurdjieff spoke directly to
the reader about his own experiences of trying to impart to people what he had
learned. Finally, the reader gets to know the grown-up Gurdjieff. The book
stops in mid-sentence, because Gurdjieff died before it was completed.
What most jumped out at me was Gurdjieff said
the most important thing for any person is to go whole hog at whatever he/she
undertakes. Gurdjieff lamented that he had hoped his writings would help humanity
change, but what he had discovered was only his most advanced students had
benefited. When I mentioned that to the friend who had turned me on to
Gurdjieff, she said she had gotten a great deal out of Gurdjieff’s books.
I think it was in 1993 that I stumbled across On a Spaceship
with Beelzebub in Boulder Bookstore on Pearl Street. I read the jacket copy
and bought it. The author, a professional writer, reported his lengthy
experiences in two Gurdjieff communities. One was in New York, the other in the
Pacific northwest.
Besides the author’s gripping candor about himself, what most
jumped out at me was his reports of just how difficult it was for him to leave
each group. Especially, the resistance of the Gurdjieff community leaders
letting him leave. As if he was committing heresy. As if he was being detained
by invisible jealous spirit forces, while liberating invisible spirit forces
were assisting his departures. Cults kept coming into my thoughts. Same had
come to my thoughts about powerful yogis in India, the Rinpoche in Boulder, and
many Christian churches I had spent time in and had heard about.
I recommended On A Spaceship With Beelzebub to several
people involved in Gurdjieff groups.
Before that book was published, I met two people involved in a Gurdjieff
spin-off group in Boulder. One, a man, tried to recruit me. The other, a woman,
asked me to help her leave the group. The man eventually seemed to brag that he
and the leader of the group, another man, were lovers. The woman didn’t speak
of sex, but she did accuse me of wanting to have sex with her, perhaps? I said
I was married and wasn’t attracted to her and was trying to help her wean from
the group. As far as I knew, she stayed away from the group, and it was not
easy for her.
I never got the sense such sexual practices went on in the
Birmingham Gurdjieff community. Nor was there mention of such sexual practices
in Gurdjieff’s books. It appeared to me that Gurdjieff, although capable of
being quite the rascal in his business practices, preying on people’s
gullibility, was a genuine God-seeker, who made earnest efforts to wake people
up. I felt I got a great deal from his books. Yet, I knew from reading his
books, and from my personal dealings with people in Gurdjieff communities, that
what had gotten ahold of me was very different.
The friend, who had turned me onto Gurdjieff, had a difficult time
with the notion that I was being taught angels. She told me that she discussed
it with her Gurdjieff teacher from New York City, who sometimes came down to
Birmingham. He said there was a school which held to that approach, but that
was not the Gurdjieff way.
Already mentioned, she and her Gurdjieff teacher, and Gurdjieff,
called what they were about, “The Work.” Secret code for conscious spiritual
evolution. Sufis I met called it “The Work.” The founder of Sandplay Therapy,
the Swiss Jungian Analyst Dora Kalff, whom I was fortunate to get to know and
call a friend, knew of The Work in a private conversation I had with her in
Zurich, in 1988. It appeared to me that Dora had a direct line to something a
lot bigger than herself.
Just when I felt this chapter was finished, I received a happy
birthday greeting via Facebook messenger from the daughter of the now deceased
Birmingham Gurdjieff community founder. She enlightened my ignorance. Gurdjieff
had a reputation of having sex with and impregnating his female students. I
checked that out online and found she was correct. I told her that I wondered
why her father and other members of his Gurdjieff community never mentioned it?
She said perhaps they did not know. I said I imagined they knew but did not
care to broadcast it. I told her she had saved me a lot of grief, just in the
nick of time. I did not tell her, that just before she wished me happy
birthday, I had tried several times to email a draft of this chapter to Young
Prophet. None of the emails went through. I wondered what that was about? There
are no coincidences.
The Razor’s Edge
Star Date:
October 7, 2019 (my 77th birthday)
Dreams nudged me to publish this yesterday at afoolsworkneverends.blogspot.com.
the razor's edge living, politics and 2020 hurricane season in
Key West
It's Sunday, October 6, 2019.
I had hoped I was done writing about Key West and its righteous ways.
Heh.
Two nights ago, Friday, my homeless lady friend called me from the sheriff's jail on Stock Island, Key West. Her one free phone call. She said she had been arrested by KWPD for camping in public. She was sitting on a blanket, waiting to watch a high school football game just about to start. I told her, as long as she's in Key West, city police will keep arresting her and putting her in the sheriff's jail.
As I walked somewhere yesterday morning (Saturday), I passed a fellow with a long, white beard and white, wavy hair, who said, "Is that you, Sloan?" I didn't recognize him. Said so. He told me his name. I said I didn't recognize the long, white beard. Great seeing you. What are you doing in Alabama? J said he came to attend the wedding of a friend's son, and was out for a morning stroll. He had been one of my best vicious van dweller friends in Key West, until city police started threatening to jail them for hanging out at Higgs Beach. Jail them, because their vehicles were their homes. Their only homes. I told J about my homeless friend being in jail, again, this time for sitting on a blanket at a football game. Camping.
Key West was making America great again long before Donald Trump ever dreamed he would try his hand at it.
J and I talked about all sorts of things, like we did at Higgs Beach. Joe is medically disabled. He also is really smart. Looks into many things. A real skeptic. Remains convinced 911 was an inside job. As do I.
J talked about the real power people controlling everything behind the scenes. People whose names are never seen or heard in public. A secret cabal. I said, yes, those people exist. They have been called "The Illuminati." J said the cabal knows they need to keep creating conflict, having two dogs barking at each other, then two more dogs barking each other, to distract the masses. Without the two dogs barking, the masses might be able to rest, think about things, wake up to what is really going on.
J told a few cabal stories. Dropped some cabal names. George Washington. Ben Franklin. Dick Cheney. I could have added the first President Bush. I mentioned Donald Trump. J said Trump's in the cabal mix. I didn't say all of them are well known.
I said there is something going on right now, which does not involve the cabals. I looked at the weather forecast on my I-phone, said, it will be 93 degrees here today. It was 95 the past few days. In October. J said maybe the cabal has a way to heat things up. I said this never happened here before. J said I could not know that. I said it never happened here during my life. I'm 77 in two days. The oceans are full of plastic. This is a lot bigger than a cabal.
A woman had come by and asked us to tend her dog while she went into a nearby business. She now was in the conversation. She said her doctoral thesis had been on the making of a Nazi American president. I said Trump is a Klingon. The Klingon leader, actually. I found this pic online, using my I-phone, and showed it to them. They laughed. I said I had used that pic often at my blog. They laughed.
I said my problem with worrying
about secret cabals is it ignores the ETs, which are very real and over which
the cabals have no control. And, worrying about cabals ignores the angels and
the demons, over which the cabals and the ETS have no control. P said he wasn't
sure there were ETs and angels and demons. I said I had seen them all. They are
there.
J and the woman went on about the
sad state of things and what might be done about it. I said, when people ask me
what I think is really going on with something bad, I say they won't like my
answer, because there is nothing that can be done about it. Lucifer is behind
it.
J and the woman went on more
about the sad state of things, and what might be done about it. I said that
method looks outward, instead of inward. That method never worked, and it never
will work, evidenced by human history.
J asked why we are here on this world?
I said, to become who we really are. It's really important to dig into things
and see what is not visible on the surface. But if research in a library is all
we do, then it is for naught. What is important is to take risks, to speak and
act publicly on what we know.
The woman told of being in her
office and library after an aunt had died. The books were her own writings and
research and school text books. Including her doctoral thesis. She saw her aunt
and all the books flew off the bookshelves onto the floor. Her aunt had the
final say. I asked if this was a dream? The woman said, no, it actually
happened in her office. I said I didn't think she understood her aunt.
I told them about the movie,
"The Razor's Edge," starring Bill Murray. A seeker of arcane
mysteries, the "hero's" most cherished possession was his small
collection of books on that subject. After much searching, he ended up
living in a Buddhist monastery, in very high mountains, perhaps northern India.
He swept floors and stirred a large black cooking cauldron, day after
day.
One day, a monk told the seeker
the lama wanted to see him. The lama told the seeker it was time he went up on
the mountain, alone. As he headed out, the lama handed him his rucksack
containing his precious books. The seeker then is seen sitting in a cave
with a view of snowy peaks and valleys. He is seen meditating and suffering. He
has a small fire going in front of him. He is not well dressed for the climate.
He is cold. He is not progressing. Then, he picks up one of his precious books
and tears out pages and puts them in the fire. He burns that book in that way.
And another book in that way. And all of his books in that way. He returns to
the monastery and the lama tells him it is time to leave.
The seeker returns to Paris, where
he had lived before his journey brought him to the monastery. He met and fell
in love with a woman. She was an addict and had a pimp. He tried to save her.
He came close, but she was an addict and the pimp didn't want to let her go.
The pimp was really angry she had tried to leave him, and when she tried to
leave him again, he slit her throat and killed her. The seeker wonders out loud
what was the point?
The point was he had stopped
seeking and had started living and taking risks and trying to do his best.
The woman, who had joined J and
me, said she had wanted to write a book. I said that was her aunt's point. She
needed to get out of her old books and write a new book. And, given she was getting
to know J, she should get herself a van and travel in it and meet people, and
write about it.
J asked, what were the odds of
him seeing me on the sidewalk in Alabama this morning, and then the woman
joining us? Very low odds, J said. No, I said. The odds were 100 percent.
That's always the odds when God is involved. No coincidence, J said. Correct, I
said.
During a nap later yesterday, I
dreamed I was running for mayor of Key West. I woke up, figuring that had to be
about my encounter with J, and with homeless friend being jailed again by KWPD,
for being homeless.
Last night, I summarized all of
that during a phone conversation with my mainland friend, Young Prophet. I said
I would love to be told by the angel bosses of me to publish a blog post in
which I tell the people of Key West they might not care for next year's
hurricane season, because of how their police and city commission keep jailing
my homeless girlfriend, because she is homeless. In fact, they might not even want to be
in Key West during the next hurricane season.
Young Prophet knew I had published
several times that African shamans, pissed off over Key West putting a dog park
on top of African slave remains, had steered Hurricane Irma dead at Key West.
And, a few days before Irma's arrival, my homeless girlfriend told me of waking up that morning
and seeing two huge arms and hands come down through the clouds and nudge Irma
slightly eastward. And, just before Irma reached Key West, she turned slightly
eastward and presented only her weak (left) side to Key West. 20 miles up US 1
and above there, received all of Irma. It looked like Hiroshima up there. A
direct hit on Key West would have destroyed thousands of homes and apartments,
and most, if not all, of the beautiful old-growth Keys in Key West. The city no
longer viewed as "paradise".
Young Prophet knew I had
published several times that Key West was spared that horror, because my
homeless girlfriend was trapped there. And, instead of the city's police continuing
to persecute her for being homeless, and racking up serious karma, the city
commission should give her a key to the city, a rent-free apartment, and a
monthly cash stipend, for so long as she lives in the city.
Young Prophet agreed with my
assessment that my homeless girlfriend had a purpose in Key West, and I had described
it, and what could befall Key West during nest year's hurricane season. I said
I was reluctant to publish it without my angel bosses saying I should publish
it.
In a dream last night, a police
officer caught me hiding behind a bush. I had on me a loaded six-shot revolver
and a large iron screw, which I handed to the officer. I woke up. Six is
the number for Melchizedek. Imagine the Star of David, which was borrowed from
the Eternal Angelic Order Melchizedek.
Whenever Melchizedek is involved
in my human dramas, I'm expected to be tough as iron and to lower the boom. On
myself, the dramas, and the other people in them.
Key West people, I give you what
I feel is a required heads up. I am not a prophet, but it won't surprise me if
Key West is wrecked by a hurricane, or hurricanes, during next year's hurricane
season, and you might not wish to be there for it.
A nice lightning and thunder
storm parked last night over where I live. Enough rain to break the long
drought in my patch of town. A high of 87 degrees is projected for today. Such
storms always herald change headed my way.
American Politics
Star
Date: September 15, 2019
I was told in a dream that Marianne Williamson and other
democratic candidates spoke for God during the first and second Democratic
Party debates this year. Of them, I thought Williamson was the most
comprehensive, the most representative of what God wanted Americans, and
humanity to hear.
I don’t know how long it will be available on the Internet, but
this YouTube of Trevor Noah interviewing Williamson after the second debate is
impressive:
I told Gloria Reiser, who voted for Donald Trump, to save
America from Hillary Clinton, that a vote for a bad candidate, instead of a
vote for the other bad candidate, still is a vote for a bad candidate and
absorbs that bad candidate and the associated karma.
I told Gloria it looked to me that Williamson’s candidacy was a
TEST to see how Americans, especially the Democrats, would react. I said I
wondered what it meant (lay in store) for the Democratic Party, and for all
Americans, that Williamson did not make the cut for the third Democratic Party
debate?
I said I would have to spend time talking with Williamson, to
know whether she is an avatar (channel) for a being such as Jesus, or whether
she was forged in spirit and fire into a person who was able on her own to speak
in such ways at the debates and then to Trevor Noah.
I leave America, and the world, to ponder the University of
Alabama president got a rich Birmingham business man to give up his posh box
seats condo in Bryant Denny stadium in Tuscaloosa, so President Trump could use
it for MAGA rally at the 2019 LSU-Alabama dream college football game.
Several bizarre Alabama miscues had a very good LSU team up 33-13
at the end of the first half, enough lead for the Bengal Tigers to stave off a furious
second half Crimson Tide comeback attempt and win 46-41.
I posted at afoolsworkneverends.blogspot.com that University of Alabama
officials had jinxed the Crimson Tide, by allowing President Trump to use the
game as a political gathering for his reelection bid.
Later came a report from Young Prophet about a dream he had a
couple nights after that game.
Well
I told you my dreams are weird. Had a dream a couple nights ago that we were in
the lounge area of a sports bar. Eating chips and salsa, with the winged
ones, you be amazed at what a 7 foot war angel, can eat. President Trump is
appearing at the ball game. You ask "Wonder which Team eats the Trump
Karma this week." Gabriel smiles. "Good thing none of you have a gambling
vice." Trump comes on screen. Except the facade fades away. Charles
Manson was President of the United States of America. No one could see it
except you, me and TPTB. Starts doing his Helter Skelter bullshit.
Young Prophet’s TPTB (The Powers That Be) are Archangels Michael, Gabriel and
Raphael, War Angel Khamael, and Melchizedek.
Fractured
Souls
This below was published at
afoolsworkneverends.blogspot.com on November 7 2019.
The other day my homeless girlfriend told me that she is seeing
someone in Key West. I didn't ask who, but figured it was the homeless man who
got arrested with her for trespass the last time she was jailed. He was jailed,
too. According to her, they were given time served by the local judge who
presides over misdemeanor cases.
I first learned of my homeless girlfriend running with this fellow from a man in Key West, who doesn’t like her or me. When she called me from the jail about something, I read to her what the man had written to me. She did not seem happy. I did not yet know the homeless fellow might be more than a friend to her. I was suspecting that was the case by the time she said she was seeing someone in Key West.
Grubby respiratory, sinus and throat symptoms then moved into me fast one afternoon, which I figure has to do with my homeless friend and me coming to an end, at least in human ways. I figure it also is part and parcel of my winding down my long involvement in Key West and Florida Keys political and social affairs. A subconscious grieving, perhaps, as no tears are being shed.
It might also be the many political and social dramas, in which I became involved down there, which did not resolve, coming out of their hiding places in me, en route to leaving me. I hope that iss the case.
I first learned of my homeless girlfriend running with this fellow from a man in Key West, who doesn’t like her or me. When she called me from the jail about something, I read to her what the man had written to me. She did not seem happy. I did not yet know the homeless fellow might be more than a friend to her. I was suspecting that was the case by the time she said she was seeing someone in Key West.
Grubby respiratory, sinus and throat symptoms then moved into me fast one afternoon, which I figure has to do with my homeless friend and me coming to an end, at least in human ways. I figure it also is part and parcel of my winding down my long involvement in Key West and Florida Keys political and social affairs. A subconscious grieving, perhaps, as no tears are being shed.
It might also be the many political and social dramas, in which I became involved down there, which did not resolve, coming out of their hiding places in me, en route to leaving me. I hope that iss the case.
Ignorance is bliss, my mother often said.
A fair question is: Why would I even have a homeless girlfriend in
the first place, given all the baggage she was carrying, only a very small part
of it I have told here? One why quite simply is, I fell in love with her, and
it became a razor’s edge thing. I suppose the other why could be viewed, in a
way, as an indictment of humanity.
Of all the many people I met and came to know in Key West and
the Florida Keys, my homeless friend was the closet, by some measure, to experiencing
the interface between the spirit and the human realms. Yet, she did not seem to
really want it, while I was engulfed by and it was part of me and my life, like
breathing, drinking water, eating, pooping and peeing are part of me and my
life.
I heard enough from her about her childhood to know that is where the seeds were planted that sprouted into choices she later made, which evolved into her life becoming a quite sad progression of mostly unfortunate experiences, including her living on the streets of Key West, when she wasn't in the county jail on the next island up US 1.
What I know of her childhood causes me to think about my own childhood. Gloria Reiser, my professional psychic friend, recently told me that one of her spirit guides told her that I should write a book about my childhood. I replied that, while there were some bright spots, my childhood mostly was a trail of silent tears, and if I wrote that book, it would be named, "How to Fuck Up a Child". I didn't say it might be a miracle that I didn't go mad and kill myself like my younger brother ended up doing.
I then dreamed of the basement of my parents' second home. A boy I had tried to be his stepfather for a number of years was living in the basement. It was shabby. Alone. Lonely. I left. He'd had a terribly rough childhood before I met his mother, a licensed clinical social worker child and family therapist. His father had a PhD in psychology and his own private adult practice. Hardly a perfect stepfather, many times I felt I was that boy's only real ally. His childhood story could have been named, "How to Fuck Up a Child."
Same book could have been written about most homeless people I met and got to know in Key West and elsewhere. They all had acute post traumatic childhood distress.
Other homeless people I met were combat veterans suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by their combat experiences in fake American wars. Their childhood stories weren't pretty, either. They had double PTSD.
I think it's fair to say most people I have known suffered PTSD rooted in their past experiences. What else could explain the wide-spread use of booze and other narcotic drugs in Key West and the Florida Keys? In America?
What else could explain the character and behavior of President Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, and the Republican and the Democratic Parties?
What else could explain America's fake wars?
Greed?
Do greed, bigotry, religious fanaticism, lives of crime, for examples, come first, or are they reactions to soul wounding?
Why do some people with awful soul wounding turn out okay, or well, or great? Instead of, well, like my homeless friend and me?
My former stepson reconnected with me maybe in 2010. He was doing great. It started going in that direction when he enlisted in the Navy, instead of going to college, which his parents wanted more than anything. He did not tell them he was going to enlist. I said I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when he broke that news to them. We both laughed.
He said the Navy taught him math and cryptology, which is the study of codes, or the art of writing and solving them. He was terrible at math in a private grade school, for which I paid the tuition. I paid for everything he and his mother and I needed. She spent what little profit she made in her private practice on furthering her professional training.
My stepson didn't get along well with many of the kids in the private school. Especially, he didn't get along with the girls. After his mother broke up with me, his father put him in public school, where he blossomed socially, was well liked. But his grades were mostly Cs. The Navy changed that.
When he reconnected with me many years later, he lived on the west coast, as far from his parents as he could be and still live in the continental United States. He was studying physics in a community college, and was deeply involved in producing music. When I was trying to raise him, he seemed most drawn to music, when he wasn't watching TV or playing video games, at which he was very good.
Why did my homeless friend, the daughter of two high school English teachers, and a former state high school barrel racing rodeo champion and rising basketball star, end up being an alcoholic, a felon, and homeless? Why did I end up being a mystic, and from time to time homeless, after nothing in mainstream panned out for me? I can imagine I would have ended up worse off than my homeless friend, if, in early 1987, I had not asked God to help me, and offered my life to human service.
I bet if I spent time with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, and they opened up to me about themselves, and they did not start talking over me, or order me to shut up and leave, or jump up and leave themselves, then pretty soon it would be clear they really are about the same fractured souls deep down inside as my homeless friend and me, who were not highly thought of by the mainstream Key West status quo.
My great prep school, college and law school educations didn't come anywhere close to "saving" me.
When I ran for school board in the Florida Keys, in 2012, I harped at my blogs and at school board meetings and at candidate forums up and down the Keys, that the school district was really screwing up having only a college prep curriculum. The high school drop-out rate was high. The college drop-out rate for Keys high school graduates was high. Many Keys high school graduates who graduated from college, could not find good paying jobs.
I harped that every student should graduate from high school with a trade skill that would support them, and they were fluent in English and Spanish, and were able to touch type. I was the only, of about a dozen candidates, who represented the students' welfare against the status quo.
When I ran for county commission three times, and Key West mayor six times, I was the only candidate who represented Mother Nature's welfare against the status quo and its real estate developers, who could care less about the fragile Florida Keys being way over-developed, and there was not a person living there who could look in a mirror and honestly argue otherwise.
I was the only candidate who harped banning cruise ships that did not have advanced, up to date, waste water treatment plants on board. It was known that the dirtiest, worse possible cruise ships were calling on West, and they were dumping their wastewater and food scraps offshore.
I was the only candidate who harped the City of Key West Dock Master should stop selling fresh water to cruise ships, which could fill their freshwater tanks at their point of origins in southeast Florida. Key West was drawing all its fresh water from aquifers below and west of Miami, and piping it down through Keys to Key West.
I was the only candidate who harped the local governments and tourist industries should warn visitors that the ocean was infested with MRSA flesh-eating bacteria; that MRSA was pandemic in Key West and the Florida Keys; that going into the ocean with a nick or scratch on the skin was perilous.
The status quo is an interesting thing. It's actually a living organism. It spends a great deal of energy trying to stay the same. It views any effort to change it as life-threatening, and it will use any and all methods, including lethal force as a last resort, to stay the same. The only thing I know that has a decent chance of changing the status quo is God, and even God seems developmentally-challenged in that endeavor.
I left Key West about a year ago, and did not go back. I don't miss Key West or the Florida Keys. I don't miss the dramas down there. I do miss quite a few friends I made down there. But then, I left other places where I had lived and made quite a few friends, and I moved on into the next phase of my totally unpredictable life.
To Key West Police Department.
Some of your officers have had fun making life hard for my homeless friend. I figure that had to do with her being my girlfriend, and they didn't care for what I wrote about them and KWPD and the sheriff's jail on my blogs. They harassed her to get at me. Why else would they selectively harass her? She did not bug them. She did not do anything spectacular to otherwise get on their radar.
Is it because she really likes vodka and cigarettes? Gosh, if there were no booze or tobacco in Key West, its economy would crash.
So, I leave those Key West police officers with this question. When your roll is called up yonder, how do you think the homeless man Jesus will speak with you about your treatment of my homeless friend?
The Afterlife
When I hear Christians say reincarnation is
heresy, I point them to a disciple asking Jesus in the Gospels about the man whose
sight Jesus had restored - Who had sinned, the man, or his parents, that he was
born blind? For the man to have sinned before he was born, he would have had to
had a prior life. Jesus said it was neither. The man was born blind so the glory
of God could be manifested when his sight was restored.
Elsewhere in the Gospels, a disciple asked
Jesus if Elijah had returned as prophesied in the Old Testament? Jesus said Elijah
had returned, but he was not recognized, and the disciples knew he spoke to
them of John the Baptist.
The angels on my case impressed on me that
reincarnation is very real, and that there is a life review after we cross
over, to the extent we did not have the review in our present life. Young Prophet’s
and my life reviews in this life have been… intense.
In that regard, here is something Gloria Reiser
texted me about a Buddhist real estate developer attorney (BA) I knew in Key
West, who got crossways with the law, was put on probation, made some
adjustments, and recently crossed over.
Sloan:
I was slipping back
into sleep and a man came to me with a message immediately. I have not met BA nor
seen photo of him that I recall. But feel certain it was him. Communication was
telepathic. Big globs of info conveyed in a package. Once package of info
translated in my mind into words then more info sent. See next
Part 2. He was trying
to explain that he is attempting to communicate with you directly. To let you
know that he was in and out between this world and other worlds and spirit
before "officially leaving life" perspective broadens immediately
when physical body finally shed. See next text
Part 3. Not to worry
about him. He has much to do to resolve karma (not the word used but translates
to karma in larger sense) but understanding is so clear now. He is resting in
preparation for that work. See next text
Part 4. There was the
essence of a female form traveling with him. She seemed to be an ancestor like
a grandmother or great grandmother though her appearance was that of younger
than him. Her energy very soothing. I'm losing bits and pieces of this
experience even as I write it. I remember he expressed he will continue to
attempt to communicate with you directly so you can hear it from him. See next
text.
Part 5. Sloan this is
my take away from the experience. He is amazed at hugely heightened awareness
after leaving earth form and is processing not only surprise and wonder of that
but also the meaning, learning and interplay of energies comprising his life as
BA.
The above are direct
copy pastes from texts sent you on August 25 between 7:25 am and 7:39 am. I had
been unable to fall asleep until after 3:30 am for some reason. Then a sound
woke me around 6:30 am. I was attempting to return to sleep for hopefully a
couple more hours when in slipping toward sleep the experience reported above
took place.
Young Prophet later emailed about BA:
I have an old Komatsu D20-PL6 as
well as 1964 International TD-340. They sit near an Indian mount. I followed a
crow as it was flying, and I saw a man in a business suit sitting on the Indian
mount.
An old fellow with a comb-over
hairstyle, mostly if not all grey, was sitting there. I said hello and asked
him what his business was.
He said that the farm was a nice
piece of property. I told him I agreed.
I asked him who he was, "BA".
I asked him what he was doing.
"Admiring this piece of property and waiting for the man to come
around."
I asked him if he was related to
locals, and he said no, he was from further south, he was up from Key West way.
It hit me who he was, so I asked
him, why he was around. He said he had vexing business up there, pointing to
the sky, or some things to fess up to and he then pointed down. Not to the
ground. He pointed down.
So I said "And you've got
nothing better to do than give me a visit?"
He said he was just admiring the
property and it was just a shame- it'd make a nice development. Nice place to
raise a family. What would I do with it?
I told him I'd see every tree
replanted, that had been cut. I told him that if every acre was mine to do
with, I'd see it all replanted in hardwoods.
He said "Huh"
I asked him what his plans were? He
said, "I got business above and below, and if I'm not bothering you here,
I reckon I'll admire the view. It's nice this time of year."
I asked him: "You know the
man will be around eventually."
He nodded yes, and he had
"basset hound eyes" when he nodded, with tears in those eyes.
I said, "Be better to face
it one way or another and just be done with it, right?"
He stroked the grass, avoided my
gaze and said, "I'd just as soon not face it head on right now."
I said "I'll leave you be. I
wasn't quite where I thought I was" - down at the gate into my family's
land, to see if any real estate agents or developers were trespassing, which
they do.
He kept stroking the fescue and I
wandered off. I saw a red tail hawk in a distance, and he drew my attention
away. Next thing I knew, I was awake and aware.
Young Prophet told me that, before the dream,
he did not know what BA looked like. I said BA did have basset hound eyes and
that hair style.
My recollection is BA did 5,000 hours of
community service, as a condition of his federal probation. Perhaps that
mitigates his situation in the afterlife? Perhaps that guides him to do public
service in his next life?
The Devil's Greatest Trick Is Deceiving It Doesn't Exist
When I was doused in the New Age and Eastern Spiritually, I met people who were convinced Evil did not exist, there was no such thing as "the devil". I never believed them, and my own life experiences and angels who captured me proved to me the Devil indeed exists.
A somewhat younger woman, whose grandfather was deeply involved in the life and work of the Eurasian spiritual teacher, G.I. Gurdjieff, sent me a link to this below via Facebook private messenger. It was posted by a fellow, who seems 100-percent convinced the Devil is a figment of people's religious programming, imagination, metaphor, projection from self, the ego, etc.
- Matthew Knott "Every religious teaching must be seen as being metaphorical versus literal if the deepest meaning is to be recognized." - Matt Kahn
"Thus LUCIFER -- the spirit of the Intellectual Enlightenment and Freedom of Thought -- is metaphorically the guiding beacon, which helps man to find his way through the rocks and sandbanks of Life, for Lucifer is the LOGOS in his highest, and the 'Adversary' in his lowest aspect -- both of which are reflected in our Ego." - Helena Blavatsky - Maiko Cyneteli No amount of books read and any knowledge, teaching never will help to guide someone, neither group.. Only love, only feeling, interpersonal meaningful individual interaction is the way to real individuation.
- Sloan Bashinsky This poem came to me in late 1995:
Love without Truth is blind,
Truth without Love is harsh.
Two sides of the same coin,
They live together,
Or die.
If people were to live in my skin not very long, they would know the Devil indeed exists, and demons exists, just at God and angels of the Lord exist, just as lions and lambs exist, just as people exist, just as fishes and birds and bugs exist, just as trees and plants exist, just at extraterrestrials exist, and the Devil's greatest achievement was deceiving people it did not exist. I grew up in Christianity, but along the way something happened and, starting early 1987, I was taken for a ride by supernatural beings who turned me every which a way but loose and inside out and upside down, and stood me before a mirror a long time, with many refresher courses, and they are still at it. I concluded about Jesus, that to the extent people live and behave as he lived an behaved, they are saved by him, whether they heard of him or not. And, life continues after death without the human body, and there is a life review in the afterlife to the extent it did not happen on Earth, and from that life review the next adventure is decided, either on Earth, or somewhere in some realm.- Matthew Knott Sloan Bashinsky - Thank you for sharing and also for speaking upon your experiences. Consider the following alternative perspectives...
"Every religious teaching must be seen as being metaphorical versus literal if the deepest meaning is to be recognized." - Matt Kahn
The Devil is a metaphorical character, which symbolizes our ego or our inner child in disguise, which at times plays the role of our shadow/dark side. "I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole." - Carl Jung ------ The greatest illusion in this world, is the illusion of separation. It serves its purpose for our experience of growth and evolution as Souls or individuated expressions of Spirit/God. Illusions only control us when we think they're real. In seeing through the illusion of separation, ultimately there is ONLY God. In that sense, ALL is Divinity, no matter the form or disguise.
"Even then, since all things are made of God, even the demons have divine nature once you pierce their disguise." - Shankara
"Darkness is divinity in its most inactive state -- in its most dormant state." - Matt Kahn
"When nothing acts as proof of anything, other than divinity in form, you have outwitted the dream of judgment." - Matt Kahn
"Christ is the true, spiritual, higher self of every individual. Each of us has within him the Christ, just as Jesus had, and we must look within to recognize and realize our sonship, our divine origin and birth, even as he did." - Charles Fillmore (As excerpted from: 'The Metaphysical Bible Dictionary' 1931)
"Notice every Biblical and religious event is full of spiritual metaphors. Spirituality is about viewing the world from a place of wholeness and completeness. The fall from Paradise symbolizes a fall away from unity into multiplicity. The birth of Christ represents potential birth of Christ consciousness in each being. This opportunity to live harmony, show universal compassion, does not roll around once a year. Every moment in fact reveals the plain presence of love and truth." - Liara Covert
"Christ consciousness does not refer to a human man. Christ is not a man, but Universal Consciousness (Logos) available to all, buried deep in our own mind as Universal Consciousness, but for most, not yet realized. You save, redeem and heal yourself. You always have. You always will. You were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of linear time. So, all human beings are already saved. We save ourselves because we are energetically designed to self-correct like the rest of the Creator’s universe. Every moment, avenues exist to increase the flow of life force energy. This separation of ego-self from the Whole is what people call Sin." - Liara Covert
"One of the most fundamental errors in our human understanding of the universe is the idea that it is even possible for anything to be completely separate from anything else. Every point (and therefore every thing) in the entire universe is connected to every-other point and thing in the universe by the SPACE that everything in the universe is defined by.
You may think of space as being empty, but science has proven that this perception is an illusion, that space is actually completely full of little tiny tiny vibrations called "vacuum fluctuations" that when all added up equal an infinite amount of energy.
This field of energy that permeates the entire universe has been given a lot of names over the decades: the aether, the plenum, the zero point field, the quantum foam, the source field, the vacuum, God, call it whatever you like, the SPACE that fills everything also connects everything. There is no such thing as "separation" in the universe." - Nassim Haramein
Because we think we are something, we imagine there must be something operating all this Universe.
What IS is pure intelligence, awareness Being. It may also be called God, Self or pure Consciousness.
It is not a thing.
We think we are a ‘thing’, an object or ego and therefore It must also be a ‘thing’. Actually ‘we’ are ‘IT’ but we haven’t realized this yet. We imagine that behind all actions there is an actual separate ‘doer’ doing something. When you discover your formless Self, everything is observed to be simply unfolding spontaneously as one whole functioning.
- Mooji - Sloan Bashinsky I spend time in cyber space, Matthew, because a lot of people spend time there nowadays. I came to your FB page today because a woman acquaintance a little over ten years younger than I sent me the link to this FB post of yours, as part of trying to convince herself, I suppose, as well as me, that the Devil does not actually exist. When I disagreed, she said its all duality. I said its all God, and Evil is God separated from God.
Much has been said and written for ages about human and spirit goings on. I have said and written much. All of it stemmed from direct experiences with what science cannot begin to grok. You quoted C.G. Jung,Matthew. I have read his autobiography, and something he wrote about "the ET phenomenon". He said it was archetypal. There were no ETs. Problem is, he was mistaken. I know that for a fact. Just as I know for a fact that the being known as Jesus actually exists now. And Archangel Michael. And Melchizedek. And, Lucifer. And plenty more that does not reside in human bodies. I'd be stark raving mad, though, if I thought for an instant that I could prove any of that. Belief is the foundation of human religions. After a while of direct experiences with what cannot be proved, or disproved, by science, or by religion for that matter, belief incrementally is replaced by knowing some of what else is around, but certainly not the whole of it. Not even angels know God very well, but much better than you, or I.
But yes, if you wish to take the metaphorical or symbolic approach, I can join you there. I deal with metaphor ongoing, in human events, in my dreams, in my visions. Whenever I engage a human event, I know I am engaging spirit forces behind it. I get roughed up plenty internally, and attacked plenty externally and internally. This that my job. It also is my life. And, I do human things I enjoy.
But in my bizarre journey this time around, and in the bizarre journey of several other people I have known, most of whom seemed to have been "infected by" what had a hold of me for a while, but there were others who came to it before I met them. We, people, are not alone. On this planet, and I suppose on other planets, and in other dimensions, so-called sentient beings have experiences that enable them to grow, or not. Probably the very first and core step is to stop projecting. That is the intent of A Course in Miracles, if you have read it. I was given a course in mirrors, instead, which was awful. Given is not really accurate. it was imposed. ACIM says human beings on Earth live in projection. They are captured by it. Thus, whenever something punches your buttons, don't react. Don't try to fix or change the exterior. Do that every day for a year and you will emerge a different person, who at least has a chance to progress (evolve).
In March 2006, I was told in my sleep by a familiar voice, that humanity had failed to reach escape velocity, and this had happened before, but I could still do it, and I would be given experiences designed to increase my velocity, like scientists send space vehicles to celestial bodies to enter their gravitational field and be sling-shotted away at a greater speed. That's been going on ever since. Before that was no picnic. A dark night of the soul, then after a couple of years, the black night, which made the dark night seem really nice.
There is so very much more in heaven and on earth than is in our human philosophies, and I am pretty sure what is above is reflected below, and what is below is reflected above. Which, well, might be FREAKY.
As far as I can tell, what each person can do to change and evolve on this planet is to look inside first, before trying to fix the exterior. Yet, also engage the exterior in the moment as courageously and kindly and truthfully as can be mustered. This entails, yes, leaving the herd. And a herd, or herds, which replaced the first herd. It entails going whole hog at whatever is attempted. Being willing to die, even. Be ostracized. Be locked up for what you think and say. And do. Even though you have harmed no person, but have shaken the status quo, which is like a living being that views change as life-threatening and to be resisted with lethal force, if necessary.
Jesus in the Gospels is a terrific example of that path. And Gandhi. And Nelson Mandela. There have been many others. They evolved experentially, existentially. What they knew was one thing, what they did, or didn't do, was something else entirely. Their lives were living gestalts. On this planet. In other realms. Simultaneously. They knew Evil was very real, and they knew it was inside of them, and outside of them. The beings who captured me in early 1987, went by the names of Jesus and Michael. Later, Melchizedek joined them. They told me, and other people I knew, they were trying to teach us how to live as they live, which is very different from how most human beings live. - Matthew Knott Sloan Bashinsky - I appreciate your contributions to this post Brother. Indeed, it is ALL God, yet that which is infinite and omnipresent cannot be separated from Itself. Prior to thought, there is no perceived separation, as such it is an illusion of the mind. Another view is that we're all ET's as we are Souls playing human roles, and our Souls are not from Earth.
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with contemplating duality as long as you know it to be an idea. If duality cannot introduce itself to you and explain how it works without you assisting in the matter through comparisons and judgments – it has no separate existence. While many contemplate the nature of separation or attempt to bring polarity into balance, they have yet to see each attempt as a journey toward the other side of the same idea.
In reality, you cannot travel to the opposite side of an idea without discovering another one. The point is not to dissolve separation, but to directly see it as an idea. If separation existed, your fingers could miss each other, or fight for a dominant position. Instead, each digit works in harmony with the intelligence of the hand for the well-being of your body.
To experience the difference between reality and ideas, you can ask yourself:
“Do the things that I label know themselves by these labels, or is it merely a reflection of how I was taught to label things?”
“Am I seeing things as they are, or simply how I was taught to view each label?”
“Can I see the things I’ve labeled, along with each opposite counterpart, do not know itself as such things?”
“Maybe day and night do not call itself day or night, perhaps only I do?”
“What if reality is serving the freedom of my journey by becoming in my experience whatever I insist about it?”
“No matter how life is seen, perhaps it’s only this way to me?”
“If I suspended each label and merely noticed each sight, sound, and feeling as experiences of sight, sound, and feeling, how does my experience change?”
Even the notions of non-duality is not the arrival of truth, but a sense of contrast felt when momentarily freed from ideas of duality. If you wish to explore freedom from duality or separation, just acknowledge both as ideas. They aren’t good or bad, in need of being cleared, or a challenge to overcome. They are merely ideas arising in a mind, awaiting your willingness to return to love.
Since the mind tends to be as noisy or fearful as the heart is closed, it is your willingness to love what arises that resolves each spiritual argument that can only free you from one idea by escorting you into another. This process is known as reframing. In order to experience the true joy of liberation, it can be as simple as recognizing each idea, as an opportunity to love the one hiding in ideas, as they have never been loved before.
In the end, you may come to see how true clarity and liberation has nothing to do with ending duality, overcoming separation, or waiting for something else to begin. It is through your willingness to honor ideas, as simply being ideas, which provide endless degrees of experience as gifts for your adventure. If your experience seems anything less than the adventure it is destined to become, I invite you to surrender to love by embracing the one who thinks, acts, and feels however you appear to be.
No matter the path or process being explored, anything other than loving yourself could only be another idea that only the innocence of ideas debate or discuss. This is why self-love is the heart of awakening. It is a love revolution that begins with you." - Matt Kahn
"Awareness assumes the form of the finite mind in order to simultaneously create and know the world, but it doesn't need to assume the form of mind in order to know itself. Awareness is 'made of' pure knowing or being aware, and therefore knows itself simply by being itself. Awareness doesn't need to reflect its knowing off an object in order to know itself, just as the sun doesn't need to reflect its light off the moon in order to illuminate itself." - Rupert Spira
"We're all angels and earth is an angel academy. This is a school where we are a graduating class of angels, where after this lifetime many of us will go to work as spirit guides for the new wave of future souls that incarnate. In the angel academy you're learning to become the master, the angel that you are by learning what angels do. So it's kind of like there are victims in the angel academy who are there to be rescued by angels until they've been rescued enough times that they realize they're an angel. And then when a victim starts doing what angels do, they become the angel they always are. A victim is an angel that doesn't know themselves, and an angel is a fully transformed victim." - Matt Kahn
"You are the angel who was sent here to guide the evolution of a being as your training in the angel academy in becoming a spirit guide. But what you weren't told is that the life you would be guiding as the angel or spirit guide, is the body in which you inhabit. So you are the angel guiding the life and times of a character that you're also portraying and playing out. You are your spirit guide in form. You are the angel you've been waiting for, and it's loving what arises that brings your angelic presence to life." - Matt Kahn
"You can't get into heaven. You can't get out of heaven. All of this is heaven manifested to look like it is something else to give you the experience of growth helping you to become the angel you already are." - Matt Kahn
"We are on a journey of becoming that which we already are. That is the impossible paradox of our lives." - Adyashanti
There is no way to experience anything outside of you. Anything that happens, occurs between the ears. There is no outside of us, it's all an inside game. - Sloan Bashinsky Matthew Knott Gosh, Matthew, you quote other people of note like Christians quote the Bible and people of note in it, although they tend to quote Paul a bit more than they quote Jesus, maybe because Jesus is a bit harder to swallow? What would really interest me, and perhaps people who look up to you, Matthew, is to hear from you what you yourself have experienced in life and learned and grown spiritually in that way. Meanwhile, you cannot banish Evil by believing, thinking, wishing or saying it does not exist, anymore than you can banish God in that way, or love, or truth, or pain, or joy, for examples. Yet, it has been my experience with the New Age, for example, that it is convinced Evil does not exist. Which suits Evil just fine.
- Matthew Knott Notice that prior to learning the judgment/label of "evil", you knew of no such thing. Likewise "good" or "bad". What may be good to you, may be bad to another and vice versa. We can believe that evil exists, or we can See that God/Life exists. In being that God is infinite, there cannot be anything outside of, separate from, or other than It. "Most people do not see their beliefs. Instead, their beliefs tell them what they see." - Matt Kahn
"Any beliefs you hold bind you to an illusory world of limitation. Whatever you believe is thus bound to be challenged for beliefs are contrary to your natural flow and infinite being. Consciousness is a mystery often pursued because it is unseen. Knowing is beyond belief, beyond doubting and seeking proof. Knowing is your core state. Knowing true nature is loving everything equally, seeing harmony in all. The less separation you see, the more you feel the silent truth and wheel of time." - Liara Covert - Sloan Bashinsky Matthew Knott Again, you quote other people. I imagine if I had a chance to sit down with any of them, and they did not try to control the dialogue, in short order they would be trying to control the conversation. I wonder, Matthew, if you have had any direct experiences with what science cannot disprove and religion cannot prove? I also wonder if you are being influenced by what you seem to deny exists. You kinda remind me of the fifth case in the Jesuit priest Malachi Martin's classic exorcism textbook: HOSTAGE TO THE DEVIL.That case involved a youngish man who had gotten involved in esoteric spiritual practices and unawares possessed by a demonic entity. He was a while accepting it and getting delivered.
Same happened to a good friend of mine. A non-practicing Jew, who viewed himself as a new age guru, yogi, astrologer, Taro reader, runes thrower, Taoist, vegetarian, organic foods and pure or filtered water consumer. He worshiped wheat grass juice. He was sure Evil did not exist. One day, I saw the countenance of Lucifer in his profile and suggested he get a copy of HOSTAGE TO THE DEVIL and read it. He reacted. I said it was just a suggestion. He got the book, then he reacted again. I said I didn't make him buy the book. The next day he reported a dream of the night before. His favorite Jewish grandmother Came to him, smiling, holding out a copy of HOSTAGE TO THE DEVIL. My friend said he would read the book. A few days later he called me and said he had a problem, didn't he? I said, yes. He asked how long I had known. I told him, and what I had seen, and I didn't tell him because I figured he wouldn't believe me.
The same angels on my case had recently taken him on and he knew it. They had given him what seemed like perfect spirit hearing and vision. As he and I talked, what he was sure did not exist came toward him. He was terrified, asked me to stay on the phone with him. I said I was there, and the angels were there, and they were what he needed to trust. They took him through it a number of times. He was terrified each time. It was a process, not anything like casting out demons. The further he went with the angels, the deeper the deliverance went.I had already been through it somewhat differently, and would go through it a few more times.
In a reprint of his book, Father Martin said the Roman church was possessed by Lucifer at very high levels, evidenced by the church had discontinued teaching priests the sacred rites of exorcism. Some years later, the church resumed teaching the rites, which are very different from how my friend and I were delivered. That led me to think perhaps the methods used by the Roman church and other Christian sects are not a complete cure? For each person has a demonic twin, which reflects the external Evil. Jesus faced both during the 40 days in the wilderness, after which, the gospel text says, the devil left him to return at a more opportune time. - Matthew Knott Sloan Bashinsky - I will continue quoting people if I feel called to, it's how I choose to operate at times Brother. You can allow yourself to be bothered by it, or accept what is. I recall being 'saved' when I was 9 at church and feeling an energy go through me from head to toe and then back out again. Many years later I realized that separation was an illusion, and that what I felt/experienced that day was not something separate from me, but instead an aspect of myself letting its presence be known. While incarnated within the dream of time, form & separation, in dualistic thinking, I accept darkness. In Seeing the bigger picture and from a higher perspective, I See that there is only Light. Nothing and nobody is separate from or external to my Self, as such nothing but my Self (the One 'I AM') influences me. God exists. Life exists. Existence exists. WE are That, at our core. God is infinite, nothing can exist outside of/separate from It, not even what we've labeled as "evil" or "demonic", although the conditioned mind would have one believe or convince itself otherwise. God is omnipresent; nowhere and in nothing/nobody is God not present. It's ALL One, and it's ALL "God"... or in other words... Light/Life/Love/Consciousness/Awareness/Presence/Divinity/Infinite Being.
"Evil" (or "demonic") is simply a label people have learned along the way and now project onto their experience of what IS. Before learning that label, they did no such projecting. It is up to us to become aware of and See through our conditioning. In judging our experience of something or someone as being 'Evil', we're only judging ourselves.. whether we realize it or not. My experience is about me, in the sense that it is based upon my interpretation and conditioned filters through which I am perceiving what is. I am not separate from that which I see, although I may think I am. Beyond thought, Oneness IS. Underneath it all, I am consciousness, as is ALL. There is no difference between the Creator and creation, just as there is no difference between the ocean and its waves. We're experiencing a holographic reality where within it, each piece is equal to the sum of the whole. (Everything is every-thing). Each human being is a holon; simultaneously a part and a whole. As Souls or individuated expressions of God/Spirit, we are each not only in our own world but ARE our world, and are experiencing our own unique version of life/earth, while we all share the same space or consciousness. The Observer/the observed are one. If I judge what I see, then in seeing through the illusion of separation, I judge myself. Judgment is fear-based, arising from the belief in the deceptive appearance of separation. Fear judges. Love loves. Love is the absence of judgment. I cannot love myself and judge myself or another at the same time. So as for us to embody our deepest essence which is that of Unconditional Love, life is trying to end our relationship with judgment. - Trish Hill Matthew Knott this is so symbolic. It clearly shows what it is you believe in. It’s always best to listen not to what verbiage a man uses but to look at what he uses as a representation of his self. I know Mattie, I know
- Matthew Knott Trish Hill - Thanks for sharing your perspective. Much love and many blessings to you!
- Sloan Bashinsky Matthew Knott I appreciate you speaking from your own experiences.
In a perfect world, there is no separation. There is only love and truth, which are in harmony. I have yet to meet anyone living in that state of being. I have met people who experienced it once, or sometimes. I have experienced it from time to time.
I wish everyone was in that state of being all the time. How different that would be!
Meanwhile ...
I agree God is in everything and every being, and separation from God is, well, I suppose part of getting to know and appreciate God better? For how can that happen, unless absence from God is experienced?
Kinda reminds of the parable of the prodigal son. By the end of that parable, the prodigal seems in much better shape than his older brother, who never strayed from God. Many years ago, I came to view that parable as prophesy of the redemption of Lucifer. Even later, I thought it was a story Jesus told on himself: he once had been a prodigal. How else, I suppose, could he have emphasized with people separated from God? Wonder how the older brother in the parable would have gotten along with Jesus' assignment 2,000 years, or so, ago?
I was put with a woman for a while, who, was healed and cleaned up by Jesus, Michael and Melchizedek, according to her. I watched her go through it, took about 3 weeks, the healing sessions were terrifying for her, 3 a day, usually. At the core was she had been sexed by her father from age 3 until 18, when she knew she had to leave her parent's home, but did not know why.. For, she had no conscious memory of the incest, but the extensive volatile healing convinced her it had happened.
When the healing was done, she had what seemed like perfect spirit vision, hearing and empathy.
She told a yogi his heart was closed. It really disturbed him. What that judgement, or simply his condition?
My lady said Jesus and his mother, Mary, came and told her Mary had molested Jesus in his youth. That was on the heels of my getting for several days that there was an evil greater than Lucifer, and then my lady said Michael told her that, if Sloan could conceive an evil greater than Lucifer, then it existed. Was that judgment, or revelation?
I was furious, not over what my lady was told, but over it being kept hidden, because I knew what great havoc a secret like that had wreaked in the collective unconscious of not only Christendom, but also humanity. Was that judgment, or knowing?
My lady said Michael told her that incest was a prevalent back then as it is today. Was that judgement on Michael's part? Or just stating what was?
My lady then suffered the eruption of maybe a dozen white-hot boils on her inner thighs, just below her vagina. We viewed that as physical and metaphysical proof of what she had been told by Jesus and his mother.
After my lady suffered about three days of that agony, it came to me that we needed to make love, to move the process along. She, of course, didn't like the idea, but she was an angel-trained shaman and understood why I said it. So, we made love, slowly. It was beautiful. Her orgasm was really powerful. The white-hot boils then began to recede. In a week, they were gone. All the verification we needed, even if no one else believed us.
Backing up to shortly after my lady was healed and changed by the angels, she said they told her that some people might not like it, but on this world, women are God's chosen vessels for love, and through love, women come to truth; and men are God's chosen vessels for truth, and through truth, men come to love.
Then, my lady said she was told by the angels that all women on this world are in a rabid war with God, and that war is the cause of all wars on this world, including all man-made wars. Was that judgement, or revelation? I told her I figured that had to do with women are second-class citizens on this world; it's a lot easier being a man.
My lady said the angels told her to send letters to all her women friends, stating what she had been told about the chosen vehicles and all women being in a rabid war with God. She sent the letters. Her women friends did not take it well. Was that judgment on her part, or obedience to her calling?
She told me that Michael told her of Michael and other angels in service to God: they were all fallen angels, who had returned to God, and that was why they were assigned to try to help people on this world, and I supposed elsewhere.
Michael, I accept as true what you told me of your supernatural childhood experience when you were saved. It was of God. I had a somewhat similar experience when I was in my 45th year, which was the beginning of the end of the man I was, and the beginning of someone I did not yet know. Do you accept what all I told you above, which my lady told me she experienced, was of God?
Jesus taught not to judge other people, yet when he was teaching people and was told his mother and brothers had come to see him, he asked the audience, who were his mother and his brothers? Then he said they were those who did the will of God. It was unheard of for a Jewish man to not receive his mother and his brothers. Was that judgment of his mother and his brothers, or simply the truth about them?
When Jesus spoke to or about his mother in the Gospels, it was pejorative. Was that judgment? Was that his way of reminding his mother of what she had done with him when he was young?
My lady's parents had not been religious. They did not attend church. She had no religious training growing up. She was, best described, a white aborigine with a New Age perspective. She had not thought there was Evil. The angels changed her mind. Was that her judging, or becoming more aware?
In the Gospels, Jesus spoke very directly, and not kindly, of the devil, which he called Satan, and of Satan's angels. So, I suppose Jesus was still stuck in duality Or was he simply being real?
Jesus' first reported miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding,after his mother had nagged him to do it. Was he still dominated by her dating back to the incest? Was that when the Devil returned at a more opportune time?
More miracles came. Miracles became the core of Christendom. Jesus' teachings about how to live in keeping with God's ways took second seat, or so it looks to me. Is that judgment on my part, or actual observation and reasonable wondering?
Is a physician in judgment telling a patient she, or he, has cancer? Or is that a diagnosis?
Is an exorcist priest, such as Malachi Martin, in judgment telling a patient, or the mother church, he, or she, or it is demonically possessed? Or, is that a diagnosis?
If you, Matthew have moved beyond duality, beyond judgment, into unconditional love, then hooray for you!
The Sufi poet Rumi said some things about that place.
What you call love
is but subtle degrees of domination.
Love is like the moon in the window,
it's just there!
Beyond good and evil is a field,
and I will meet you there.
My take was that was what Rumi heard God say to him. - Matthew Knott Sloan Bashinsky - My pleasure Brother. Thank you for sharing about and speaking upon your experiences as well!
Another view is that this is a perfect world, and there is no separation except the illusion/deceptive appearance of it, which can be seen through....
"What the mind designates as 'perfection' or 'imperfection' is not the same as what is felt as inherent perfection." - Liara Covert
"When you wake up you realize that everything is perfect, even in its seeming imperfections." - Mooji
"Notice only perfection exists. You accept it or believe filters of your own mind. Awakening involves you opening to awareness, growing conscious of inner knowing that has always been, though hidden from view by belief in illusion. Even when life does not meet your expectations, it is always perfect. Seeing the world as a mirror is recognizing all you see is a reflection of how you see yourself. If you see conflict in the world, this points to conflict within, resistance to who you are. Start seeing yourself as you are. Stop seeing yourself as you are not. The world is as it is. Cease to judge and be revitalized. Peace, love and harmony arise. From where? From nowhere. Simply be open. Judgement prevents truth/love from entering your scope. If you want to live in perfection, you have to let go of self-created limitation, that is, all your beliefs and values. Every human has the potential to stop seeking what being already is. The ego is a timeless teacher available to all. Simply stop looking and start allowing. See things through the eye of God like an innocent child. If you reduce things to your own understanding, you see less than perfect, only see based on limited personal experience of the observer. However you envision yourself, you become that. Envision yourself as less than, create ideas to confirm this and experience that. Come what may, divine perfection is ever-present. The eye of truth/love sees all of us as one vibration experiencing itself through everything else." - Liara Covert
The biggest misconception in life is the belief that the world
is a separate object, whereas in truth, the world is the expression of the Subject, which is what we are. Thus the saying, ‘I don’t see the world as it is, I see the world as I am,’ is true.
- Mooji
"The human mind only observes with filters, and thus perceives only its own distorted reflection. Mental and emotional filters distort everything until you see things as they are and stop seeing reflections of who you perceive yourself to be." - Liara Covert
"The whole world is you, yet you keep thinking there is something else." - Hsueh Feng
Realizing that separation is an illusion and seeing through it can change many perspectives. There cannot be any separation from that which is infinite and omnipresent. The Truth is simple, the ways of obscuring the Truth are complex. Although we can experience the perception of thinking or believing we're separate from God, we cannot be. Interesting about Jesus being molested by Mary.. makes you wonder. In seeing through the illusion of separation, there is no 'with' God; there is ONLY God. (God has never been with you. God has always been You.) As such, ALL is 'of God'. Ultimately there is only the will of God in existence, for if it weren't so, what was would not have been and what is would not be.
Just because a book said that a man named Jesus said something, doesn't mean that he actually did, nor does it mean that those were his exact words, or that aspects of what he may have said, or was said to have experienced, could not be interpreted metaphorically rather than literally. Your mind is either open to that possibility or not. Duality is simply an idea. Oneness IS. Analyzing is not observation. All aspects of life are, to each of us, whatever we choose to make of them.
"The core state of Being is Unconditional Love. It has no opposite. Fear arises from the ignorance of not knowing you are Love. The very not knowing is a feeling you are incomplete." - Liara Covert
LOVE = Living Our Very Essence <3 - Sloan Bashinsky Matthew Knott Unfortunately, I have ongoing engagement with demonic entities, fortunately, I suppose, I also have ongoing engagement with angels. I suppose, because oft as not, the angels get onto me about how I am going about things, as well as inform me of how to go about things and what's going on that I cannot see or hear. Looks to me there is a heap awry on this world, and in the adjacent spirit realms. Is that delusion? Is thinking not being, or feeling, perfect, delusion? I think, Matthew, when you leave this life, if not before, you will see that it's a bit different than you think now. I agree, however, that living our very essence is why we came into this life. It's a challenge each person faces. How we went at it is addressed after we leave this life.
- Sloan Bashinsky Matthew Knott Meanwhile, you are correct, who knows what Jesus actually said, who was not there when he said it? Same can be said for every person you quoted to me.
- Matthew Knott Sloan Bashinsky - Another view is that you have ongoing engagement with various forms/expressions of your Self (or the Consciousness that You Are) which you have judged/labeled as 'demonic' entities.
While to you the same can be said for *every* person I've quoted, the people I've quoted here weren't quoted from something they were alleged to have said or expressed 2,000+ years ago. Beyond Hsueh Feng and Adi Shankara, everyone quoted is still alive in the flesh, and one can know that each quote is something the authors of those quotes did actually either say, put in a book, or post online.. via researching readily available audio, video, books, or online posts. - Sloan Bashinsky Back in Jesus' time, oral traditions and history were passed down word of mouth as well as written. I can't imagine someone making up a lot of what is attributed to Jesus in the Gospels, it's too radical, I think, to be invented. What I wonder is, how much he said and did is not told in the Gospels? I think it was Peter who said at the end of one his letters, if every thing this man (Jesus) said and did were written down, he supposed it would take all the books in the world. In the Gospels Jesus told his disciples what he told them in private wise men and kings would give all they had to possess. He told his disciples he taught the masses in parables, but he taught them straight up. For examples of what did not get included. I've read and heard of plenty of spiritual "teachers". I've met quite a few. myself. I been in lots of churches. I got drenched in the New Age, which seems about as confused as Christendom. I found no one I felt was anywhere near close to being fused with God. I read of a few people who seemed close, or there. Jesus struck me as the most advance of them all, of whom I had heard. I never heard of some of the people you quote. But I viewed Madame Blavastky, whom you quoted, as a lightweight.
As for everything around me is a part of me, well, that's a nice theory, which I have heard before. Perhaps it is. I view much of what came to me from the spirit realms as parts of me I had lost, forgotten, thrown away, or never new where there. It's same for everyone. I view people who come my way as messengers to me about something in or around me. I wrote two books about that. The first was to view all legal problems as messages to us about us, our soul wounds, karma, past relationships, etc. The second book was more intense. A Course in Mirrors I called the process. I dunno. Using your perspective, I'm a part of you, but you might not agree if you lived in my skin a while. If you lived in my skin a while, it might alter you perspective of just about everything. But you don't live in my skin, Nor do I live in your skin. I recognize it is possible that you are one with God. John of the Cross was. Francis of Assissi was. Based on what I read about them and experienced with them metaphysically. I'm not there and don't expect to be there in this lifetime. Nor, other than perhaps you, is anyone I know or met in this lifetime, or read about or heard about, who was living on this planet. - Matthew Knott Not only is it possible that I am one with God (as are you and everyOne else) it already is so. We are each the One in ALL, ALL in one, or as the poet Rumi expressed.. "You are not just a drop in the ocean. You are the mighty ocean in a drop."
- Sloan Bashinsky Matthew Knott Heh, I think Rumi must have had multiple personality disorder, then, since God told him, What you call love is but subtle degrees of domination; love is like the moon in the window, it's just there. And, Beyond good and evil is a field, and I will meet you there. Then, there was the chickpea poem, where the chickpea ain't too thrilled about what the chef is doing to him. Rumi is the chickpea.
CHICKPEA TO COOK
A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot
where it’s being boiled.
‘Why are you doing this to me?’
The cook knocks him down with the ladle.
‘Don’t you try to jump out.
You think I’m torturing you.
I’m giving you flavour,
so you can mix with spices and rice
and be the lovely vitality of a human being.
Remember when you drank rain in the garden.
That was for this.’
Grace first. Sexual pleasure,
then a boiling new life begins,
and the Friend has something good to eat.
Eventually the chickpea
will say to the cook,
‘Boil me some more.
Hit me with the skimming spoon.
I can’t do this by myself.
I’m like an elephant that dreams of gardens
back in Hindustan and doesn’t pay attention
to his driver. You’re my cook, my driver,
my way to existence. I love your cooking.’
The cook says,
‘I was once like you,
fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time,
and boiled in the body, two fierce boilings.
My animal soul grew powerful.
I controlled it with practices,
and boiled some more, and boiled
once beyond that,
and became your teacher.’ - Sloan Bashinsky Matthew Knott Getting to where you say you are at is a long not particularly fun process, unless God simply gives it to you.
- Sloan Bashinsky There was a fellow who wrote a book called Conversations With God, who said he was God, we all all God. But he sure didn't seem to be able to do what all God could do, nor much of anything God could do. He was, yes, a piece of God. We all are. Even the Devil.
- Matthew Knott "Humility comes from realizing that God is the Doer, not you. When you see that, how can you be proud of any accomplishment? Think constantly that whatever work you are performing is being done by the Lord through you.'' - Paramahansa Yogananda
There must either be 'you' living in this body or God living in this body. Who does better?
Bear in mind it was God's house in the first place.
Where do 'you' come from?
- Mooji
"Notice pure consciousness is. 'You' arise by taking on projections of the world around you. Pure consciousness is colored by them. "Your" identity takes shape as you decide to accept or modify the projections. That decision gets repressed in the unconscious and becomes a fixation. Once repressed, you can no longer change it. Your thinking process grows from projections and your decisions arise as the basis of thought. Ego (who you believe you are) arises from who you are told you are. The false idea of you stems from early projections, decisions and fixations. It's like ego is the image you see in the mirror. The basis of the underlying operating system (beyond the mirror) often goes unrecognized. The ego wants center stage. Eliminate the operating system, and the ego disappears ('you' see no reflection). Yet, to hold 'your' attention, ego imagines problems. This prevents you from seeing behind the curtain/mirror. By thinking it's unworthy, in need of improving, ego prolongs its false existence. As long as ego can maintain the illusion of imperfection, 'you' do not see ego arises from false logic. No entity really bears your name, personality, or sense of person-hood. It's an illusion created by pure consciousness, filtered through primary projections. To eliminate the fixation, grow aware the projections are false. By imagining inadequacies, you perpetuate suffering and the illusion of separation. The real issue is the projections only arise because originally what was offered was a lack of love. Do not trust the projection that produced 'your ego'. It was not God saying he did not love you, it was people in your life that unknowingly withheld /did not provide constant, unconditional love. No matter how much self-improvement you do at level of ego, you are still unworthy because of the structure of the ego. No matter what cosmetic changes you make, no matter how much money you obtain, none of it will end the projection the core of the ego desire to improve itself. Only by growing conscious you are a Being of Light does the desire for love shift beyond Ego processes and yearn for improvement. Innermost Source of love is pure consciousness from where all creativity comes. Be the endless field of abundance, joy and bliss." - Liara Covert - Sloan Bashinsky If you read Yogananda's autobiography, you saw he had a Jesus-like yogi, who taught him God's ways, incrementally. Yogananda did not himself claim he was fused with God, nor did his yogi claim that about himself. They both saw becoming more like God was a process.
- Matthew Knott Thanks for sharing as you feel called to Brother
"The teacher is really yourself. You have created a teacher to wake you up. The teacher would not be here if you were not dreaming about the teacher..." - Robert Adams- Sloan Bashinsky With all due respect, Matthew, I did not create Jesus and Michael, whom God sent to be my teachers, after, in early January 1987, I had failed in every way I figured a man could failed. had reached the end of my rope, and was out of bright ideas, and I knew it, and in that desperate state I prayed: "Dear God, I do not want to die like this, failed, please help me. I offer my life to human service." About ten days later, in the wee hours, maybe 2 a.m., I woke up and saw two spirit beings hovering above me in the darkness, I figured they were angels, no wings, but they were clearly not of this world, etheric, white with blue tint, and I plainly heard not with my ears but in my being, "This will push you to your limits, but you asked for it," I remembered the prayer, "and we are going to give it to you," and then saw a white flash and felt jolted by something electrical, my body lurched, then that happened again, and then again, and the two beings dissolved into the ethers. That was as real as what you reported you experienced when you were baptized. That's when the man I had been began to die and eventually become someone else entirely. Along the way, I came to understand the two beings were Jesus and Michael, and then Melchizedek joined them, and then the already wondrous and often very difficult training became much more difficult. At times i I prayed to die and feared I would live. I plotted suicide daily for 16 months starting February 1997, and something stayed my hand. I take no credit for surviving what all they put me through. And still put me through. If it were done to humanity, what was done to me, perhaps 500 people would survive. Perhaps only 50. Of the people you quoted, of whom I have heard, perhaps Yognanda would have recognized it for what it was. The Baptism in Fire and Spirit, which Jesus said in the Gospels he came to provide, while he himself experience during that lifetime, is very real. It is the death and rebirth of which Jesus spoke. Of which most Christians cannot begin to imagine. But some people over time experienced it. And still experience it. Some of them were Christians, some not. It has nothing to do with religion. It has to do with God, which religion attempts to define and even control, which is not possible.
- Sloan Bashinsky The Devil is no more an archetype than you and I, Matthew. The Devil is as real as you and I. As are Jesus, Michael, Melchizedek and many other angels known to humanity. All of them came out of God, as did you and me. This poem came to me in May 1995.
Earth,
the sacred prism
through which souls are refracted
into their elemental parts,
purified in Holy Fire,
then one-forged and sent on their way
to not even God knows where,
simply because they are all
unique emanations of God,
evolving ... - Sloan Bashinsky I tell stories (report) what I and other people really experienced, which embody spiritual workings in and outside of human beings on this world. Not many people seem to care for my stories, perhaps because they are about a lot of really difficult inside and outside work, which is the only way to spiritually evolve on this world, unless God simply enlightens you, but is that evolving?
- Matthew Knott You're free to think that about you not creating them, yet the mind is the greatest deceiver of all. While the "I" that you're perhaps referring to didn't create them, the real You did. "I" can be seen as referring to the ego, yet it also can be seen as referring to 'One' ('I' being the roman numeral for One) as in the One Being that we all are ('I Am') or the One in ALL. We can think we're our ego, and only this human vessel, or we can See that we are Consciousness, from which everything/everyone manifested and is an expression of.
The 3rd dimension says: “There’s something deeper to be explored.”
The 4th dimension says: “Here are all the things I’ve learned from exploring.”
The 5th dimension says, “I AM what I’ve explored.”
The 6th dimension says, “Exploration is the one I AM.”
The 7th dimension says, “I AM the one exploring itself.”
The 8th dimension says, “I AM the one, the one I AM.”
- Matt Kahn
"You are the creator of it all, and you don't remember creating because it was created before memory was imagined."
"Time is a memory."
"Everything that I've ever experienced has been God's will. And that God is not above me, that God is not beyond me, that God is within me. And that God has created this lifetime, and I am the God that has created this lifetime. And I created it prior to the imagination of space and time, which is before all people show up in the play, which is why you don't remember creating your life, because you weren't a person. Not that you're a person right now, but you didn't create this in time that's why you can't remember creating it. But this was created by the reality of God that you are, to incarnate into this character to celebrate your infinite potential as a character who would become the greatness of what surviving every moment would surely reveal." - Matt Kahn (As excerpted from the following 11-minute video that changed my life... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZNZHMnyz3I )
Love the experience that you shared.. powerful. I respect that to you the devil is real. - Sloan Bashinsky The Devil is real. Every person has a demonic twin. Jesus had one. It came out during the 40 days in the wilderness. I have met my demonic twin. I have seen other people meet their demonic twin. I have met Lucifer and demons in spirit ways and in many people. I have met God in spirit ways and in many people. If you had had my experiences, Matthew, you would see things differently. You are free to believe whatever you wish to believe, but when you preach it to other people as the God's truth, then you become liable to God for it being the God's truth, and if you are mistaken, then your karma will be ... interesting.
- Matthew Knott Brother, you need not continue repeating that the devil is real. I get it. You think/believe and thus have convinced yourself that the devil is real. Another view is that You are what's real in all of this. We all have an ego, or inner child in disguise which masquerades at times as our shadow. This is perhaps the 'demonic' twin you're referring to. Of course Brother, if we all had each other's experiences, and perception of those experiences, we'd all see things differently. Another view is that nobody has ever met God, as everyOne IS God, thus they've only encountered their Self in infinite forms. Your opinion is not my reality, but I thank you for sharing it.
- Sloan Bashinsky I think and believe nothing about the Devil being real. I have had the direct experience many times with the Devil, I know the Devil exists. I have had the direct experience with God many times. I know,God exists. Leave it at that, Matthew, instead of converting it again to what you think I believe.
- Matthew Knott That which believes and labels, is also that which denies. If you had never learned the label of the "Devil", you would not "know" the "Devil" exists. You've only ever experienced God, or your Self. Being that God is infinite, God is our reality.
- Sloan Bashinsky You seem not to have paid attention to some of my reports of people I knew very well, who were convinced the Devil does not exist, but were cured of their conviction and it shook them to the very core. II imagine if what they experienced visits you, you will be shaken to the very core.
- Matthew Knott Love and Blessings to you Brother
sloanbashinsky@yahoo.com
The entire trilogy:
A FEW
REMARKABLE ALABAMA PEOPLE I HAVE KNOWN, by a southern lawyer who became a
mystic
LAW & SPIRIT, by a southern lawyer who became a mystic
Spontaneous
Ramblings on Soul Alchemy, by a southern lawyer who became a mystic